Monday, September 29, 2008

Skunk Funk be gone!

How to de-skunk:

So, today I went on a shopping spree... not for myself.... or for anything fun... but for a remedy for skunk smell.

I did enough research online, and learned that tomato juice/sauce/paste does not work... and plus, it's just gross. So, I drove to Petsmart in San Marcos for some sort of Skunk-smell-be-gone cure. They didn't have any. And the groomers told me that the stuff they have doesn't work all that well anyway.

But they did say something about washing my dog in Scope... so I googled "skunk smell scope" and got some new ideas... I ended up buying:
Scope
Palmolive (with Oxy)
Downy Fabric Softner
White Vinegar

The guys were entertained while I washed my dog with all of those things... (yes, Scope...really). After Dylan dried off, he STILL smelled funky skunky (though not as bad).

More online Googling... and another trip to the store:

Massingill Douche (but they didn't have it, so I went with the Walgreens brand)
1 quart of Hydrogen Peroxide
Baking Soda

I never had to use the douche... Mixed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide with a cup of baking soda and some of the Palmolive... and let it foam up and rubbed it into his fur.. and, HOLY MOLY! It worked! I'm sure it didn't hurt that I'd bathed him with EVERYTHING several times... but it really did work... and is still working... whew.

In between washings we went to eat some famous Lockhart BBQ at Blacks... yum.

ahhhh.... no more funky skunky smell...

Saturday, September 27, 2008

If skunks could knit cellphone socks.... ?


You know what I can't stand?!? SKUNKS!

To Pepe and all his friends: You STINK!!!

My adventures being alone at the lakehouse on LBJ for two days:

I thought it would be relaxing.... I bought a Klutz book on knitting... Klutz is the same brand of book that does the really awesome shrinky dink jewelry book... (side note: if you wanna see how awesome, check out Sara's awesome shrinky dink jewelry on etsy.com: CLICK HERE)

With my knitting kit and book in hand, I really had visions of Christmas presents for friends and family.... the scarf, the hat.... the cell phone sock (that's what they call it in the book).... maybe, even a dog sweater... (that may have been a tad bit ambitious)...

The first thing the book tells you to do, is to take the yarn, and roll it into a ball.... sounds easy. Right? WRONG! My yarn was all tangled.. even though I followed the instructions.... After two hours (or so) of rolling yarn... and untangling, I finally decided that a smaller yarn ball would do just fine, and I cut the impossibly tangled part off....

So I had my yarn ball... next was the "slip not" and the first part of knitting.... yeah: I suck at knitting... and, instead of feeling relaxed, I wanted to stab something or someone with a knitting needle....

First of all, I'm not good at reading instructions and comprehending them... I have to do it on my own... learn the hard way. Or just have someone there to show me...

So I've been trying to knit for two days.. and I got nuthin' .... sorry guys: no cell phone socks for you....

The next night at the lakehouse, I was watching the Obama-McCain debate.... I decided that a better debate format would include them hugging each other for 9 mins after the "debate" part... and then, well... I was thinking a dance off! That would be awesome!

I never got to see if they did hug for 9 mins or not... I was eating Raman noodles (which have a strong odor) and all of a sudden I thought, "wow, these noodles smell FUNKY." But then, I recognized the smell: SKUNK!

I ran and shut the door to the porch... and went outside... Dylan was out there... looking bewildered and drooling... My thought is, Dylan just wanted to make friends and play with the skunk and the skunk had other ideas.... like stinky ideas.

I washed Dyl with baking soda and dishwashing soap... and he smells much better... but I still smell skunk everywhere... the inside of my car smells skunky... my keys smell skunky... every now and then I get a wiff of skunk. UGH! I had to throw away his collar and buy a new one... but the skunk smell won't leave.

This is the second time I've been skunked in the last few months... why?!

Here's Dyl, in the old collar, doing doggie yoga on Emily and Tyler's couch... BEFORE the skunking:

Friday, September 26, 2008

with a little help from my friends...


There are LOTs of deer (or deers) at the Lakehouse...

So, to be blunt: today sucked. I woke up and felt more lonely than I have in a long time. I miss Carter, it snuck up on me and hit hard. I miss him. I feel so alone. I miss my friends.

That was what I started to write at the lakehouse. I spent two nights there... now I'm back in Lockhart. I have wonderful friends... sometimes I just feel so alone... even though i know I'm not.

I'm gonna go ahead and post this blog.... I'll post lighter stuff in another...

My outside does look completely healed... but my inside's not. It's hard to look so normal... but not feel normal... I want them to match... but they don't. I had a freak out... it came out of nowhere... I guess it had to have come out of somewhere... I've been traveling so much, and have not been alone or had to deal with loneliness for a while. The pain, grief, and anger are out of my control... and sometimes I try to fight so hard to control those emotions, but I end up identifying with them... and that just makes things worse. I'm glad I have such wonderful friends. After a few insane phone calls, Steve came out to the lakehouse... i'd never ask for the help... so I'm glad I didn't have to. It's good to know that even when I feel alone... people care. I'm sorry i caused worry or alarm.... that was never my intention. I don't know what my intentions were, I was just really really sad.

I feel sorry for anyone who deals with me... i don't like dragging my friends through my muck. The kindness I've seen and experienced is... well.... I don't know what words to even use. Just thank you... i guess.

love,
r

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Mtn Lions, Snakes and Bears... OH MY

I've had a lazy week. A L-A-Z-Y week of vegging out. I feel like I needed it though. I feel much more rested... finally.

I'm also getting geared up (or at least mentally prepared) for my Big Bend trip. I talked to Justin... He's done some research on Big Bend... There are mountain lions, rattlesnakes and bears! OH MY!

I've never been camping before. Not really. Actually I camped when I was about 12 for a night or two... and then one time when I was 16, I spent the night in a tent... But both were about the equivalent to sleeping in a tent in the back yard.

It's not that I've never wanted to go camping... I've just never been invited. So, I'm excited... a little nervous... hmmm... to burn or bury the T.P.?

I'm so excited to see Big Bend. I've wanted to see it for some time now. It's the least visited and most remote national park... So, my first time camping will be REALLY camping.

I plan to do a LOT of nature journaling. We leave on the 4th of October.

I hope I don't encounter any mountain lions, or rattlesnakes... or bears...

I really feel the need to do something creative... I just need time and space to make it happen.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sleeepy!

i've been tired... TIRED... for a few months now...

So Saturday, after I picked up Dylan, I wondered.... what was i going to do?? I don't have a job.. i don't have a home... My love is gone... what am I going to do???

Then I realized I could read the books I haven't been able to read... or just sleep... Did I mention that I was TIRED?!?

So, I slept for 2 almost 3 days. and it felt good. Today I'm still tired... but not that heavy sinking depressed feeling tired... that's good!

I'll write more tomorrow.
love,
r

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Howdy, I'm from Texas!



Salem was great. We had a blast. Steve needed to get outta Texas for a bit... and I wasn't ready to go home.

We noticed that when people in New England ask, "Where are you from?" and we say "Texas", they give you a strange look. But if you say you live in Austin, they always light up and say, "oh, I hear great things about Austin" or "I hear it's really nice and pretty."

Austin has a much better rapport than the rest of the state.

Steve greeted everyone with a "Howdy" and if someone honked at me for not driving fast enough I'd just say, "I'm from Texas!"
I didn't notice it at all until we got in the car to go to the airport, but my rental car had Texas plates! How strange is that?! I rented it from a small Hertz in Maine... spooooky. :)


I think my favorite museum in Salem was the House of the Seven Gables... Originally it did have seven gables, but not when Hawthorne wrote about it... The house is restored to be more accurate to the book (which I don't remember at all). It's beautiful...

It's amazing how much history is in such a small area. The first night we were there (and met Harvey in the RV), we were walking around... and went to a pub called The Old Spot. We had no clue that the house across the street was the original Parker Brother's Clue (as in the board game) house. Turns out there was a murder there... the man's last name was White and he was killed in the bedroom with a lead pipe. The floor plan is the same as the game... strange... I never would have thought that it was based on something real...Here's a pic of the clue house:


and we were walking by the 2nd oldest cemetery in the US, and had no idea. We went to the cemetary and looked for the headstones of the people who had a part in the witch trials. We ended up going back there with paper and crayons and did some rubbings...


When we went back to the cemetery, we met a girl (who was a witch) dressed in a black velvet cloak, putting spells on the headstones... She told us how she really wanted to move to Salem... where did she live? Well, a 10 min walk away from Salem... I consider that living IN Salem... but, well... whatever.


We really saw a lot... my feet were killing me... I was wearing new Converse sneakers Kel gave me... and my feet aren't used to being in real shoes...

Now I'm back in Lockhart, Texas... I just picked up Dylan from Emily's... he was so happy to see me that he did the happy-paws-prance dance... I already miss the cool weather... The leaves have already started to change up north.

I have another trip to plan for... The beginning of Oct., Justin and I are going to Big Bend... I'll be doing nature journaling and he'll be the photographer... We'll be camping... I'm excited... but nervous about the "camping" part... I'm a HUGE fan of indoor plumbing. But it's going to be amazing... I can't wait!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Which Witch is Which?



I've never thought about touring Salem, Mass. and the witch trials before... Steve had been wanting to go to Salem for a long time.. and knew a lot more about the history of the city than I did. It worked out perfectly: I had to buy a ticket back from Maine... he wanted to go to Salem in the fall... Jet Blue has great airfare prices... so we met up on Tues night in Salem.

Like I said my previous blog: it was a full moon. Salem... the name of the city actually means "peace," but the first night I was here I overheard two couples at two different places fighting... I don't know what I expected, but Salem is bigger and busier than I thought... but still very quaint and small... hard to describe, i know...

We found a place to grab coffee, a bite to eat, and a drink... we ended up at a Pub called The Old Spot. A cute little place in the heart of old Salem.

That's when we had our first hilarious encounter. We met Harvey, the very French, very drunk, and VERY amorous tourist. Harvey told us he was going back to his country tomorrow.. but also that he just got to the States yesterday... Steve was forced into playing the "boyfriend" role, so amorous Harvey would not get too amorous... Harvey was so excited to show us his home... he pointed down the street, "The RV." We cracked up! Harvey in the RV... perfect!

We got a room at the Days Inn in Salem, the first night. When Kel and I were driving to Maine, and were in need of a hotel to stay, Mom told us that the Days Inn Salem was cheaper, but that the reviews were horrible. "Horrible" is a very relative term... so, Steve and I decided to check in....

I was the first one to use the bathroom... there was a TURD floating in the toilet!!! EWWWWWWWW! To be fair: it was not a big turd... it was tiny... but STILL! How does a maid miss that?!?! Gross! Steve was hoping I was kidding... I was not... at all...

The next morning, the man who had stayed a room or two down from us, told us that he and his girlfriend had bed bugs crawling on them and biting them all night long. And, that in another room there were used heroin syringes on the TV... We got out of there ASAP... We agreed that spending a bit more money on a room was WAY better than returning to Hypodermic Needle Inn... Or that Bed Bug & Breakfast (which wasn't a breakfast... just a vending machine)... so the word "HORRIBLE" described that place perfectly.

Then we hit the museums... first the Salem Witch Museum, then the Lizzie Borden Museum (owned by some Dallasites who have moved here), then the Witch Dungeon... after all of the walking around, and touring we were pooped. We checked in to our room at the VERY nice (completely opposite from the night before), bed & breakfast that is part of the Hawthorne Hotel. It was really nice. We watched Family Guy and I did some yoga (all of the walking was hurting my back), and rested before our Ghost Tour.

The Ghost Tour of Salem was really great. We were led around by a guy in a pirate suit. I never realized how much history was in Salem... all I ever knew was the Witch Trials... but there's a lot more.

What I learned the most was about the irony of Salem... The Puritans were terrified of witches, and killed and imprisoned innocent Puritans thinking they were witches... Today, Salem is probably the Wiccan (or witch) Mecca... Tons of Witches live in Salem and practice freely... What would the Puritans think? If it weren't for their witch hysteria, there probably would be very few Wiccans in Salem... Now, the police cars and fire trucks, as well as the pedestrian crossings have witches on them.... and Salem is known as witch city.


Also, Nathaniel Hawthorne is from Salem... He HATED Salem. He wanted desperately to leave... and when the Scarlet Letter was published, he took the money and got out. He never wanted to return.... But today, there are streets named after him, hotels named after him... while the witch trials are Salem's shame... Hawthorne is its claim to fame... more irony.

Only one haunting yesterday. When we left our room, Steve turned off the TV... I realized I left my wallet in the room and had to go back. When I opened the door to the room, the TV was on and it was just static on the screen (poltergeist-style). I was spooked. But after that, we didn't feel spooked at all... maybe we were just too tired.

Tonight, we are at the Salem Waterfront Hotel... It's very nice... it was worth the extra $60 not to stay at the Days Inn again!

Gosh... we've done so much... and had so much fun... I'll have to write more tomorrow...

love,
r

Monday, September 15, 2008

Maine: The Way Life Should Be


Kel and I woke up yesterday on the Maine side of Boston.... then we drove through Mass. and New Hampshire (for a minute) to finally get to Maine.

I love driving through New England... The landscape is beautiful forests, but very pointy architecture sticking up through the trees... lots of old church steeples... and building steeples...

I've always fantasized about going to Maine. When we got there, we needed gas around the Kennebunkport area... so we stopped... I went in the service area to get me and kel beverages. I was shocked at how nice and happy everyone was. SOOO happy and nice! I've never been to a service area so friendly... ever. And then I found what looked like an old metal bell/fishing lure that had Tibet-looking characters with little Buddhas on it.

I HEART Maine!

Then we arrived at Watershed... at 11:20 am, but we really didn't need to be there until 6 pm. Kel's doing a 9 month residency at Watershed. There are 6 winter residents, so Kel was looking forward to meet the people she will be living and working with for the next 9 months.... It's kinda like "The Real World" and the opening line of the show (slightly changed): "this is the story of 6 strangers, all artists who will be working and living together..."



We left to explore and went into a cute little town, called Damariscotta, and shopped around.... and ate LOBSTER! There was lobster! lobster! lobster! Everything on the menu was seafood... yum! We sat outside, it was beautiful... but VERY VERY windy. At one point our umbrella almost blew off off and away... we caught it, and had to keep an eye on it while we ate...
We took a lot of photos of our food. ... of course!



We had little June Bug with us. Everything was VERY dog-friendly. We went into the stores with the pup... actually people were coming out and telling us to bring her in the stores...

then we drove down the penninsula to the lighthouse. It was everything that I've ever imagined when I've thought of Maine... Beautiful lighthouse, overlooking rocky shoreline, with seagulls squwaking and big swells and huge waves crashing on the rocks.. We climbed down on the rocks... there are areas were you can get close enough to get splashed... but it's dangerous to get too close... there was a sign when we drove into the park that said people have actually been swept away by large waves.

We got back to Watershed around 6 and after dinner, Kel got her room.. we unpacked her car and arranged her room. Then we hung out with her roommate and another resident. There is a huge orange cat who is aggressive and was eyeing poor little June Bug... so we had to keep a broom near by, just incase that cat needed to scat (which it did, several times).

I was so exhausted... I slept a LONG time last night, today, Kelly took me to Portland where I rented a car... and said goodby to Kel and June Bug.... :(

June Bug grew so much on this trip... the next time I see her she'll be a huge dog... Here's a pic of me trying to pick her up in front of the lighthouse.


Here's a pic of us taking pics of ourselves... (shocker):


The car I rented is a Mazda (new model) minivan! But it doesn't look like a mini van... it's cool. I drove to Salem, MA to meet up with Steve... we are at a coffee shop in Salem, trying to figure out where to go and such. We just got eating dinner... we had lobster rolls and clam chowder.... I think I'll eat lobster clam and crab everyday.

There is a full moon over Salem... perfect.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

These days... catch up!


This pic was taken in front of the White House... there was a Secret Service Police Van... (can't really read the side of the van in this pic), and that's my best Secret Service look...

We spent one night in DC at Eva's place... the next day, Kel, Eva and I (with June Bug) went to eat at a neat little restaurant called Teaism... it's one of Eva's favorite spots. DC seems like a little bubble... there's so much going on inside the bubble... everyone I overheard on the streets was talking politics... Eva very much seems like a DC gal... and is very happy there.

After Kel and I said our goodbyes to Eva, we went to the Washington Memorial and White House. We took a ton of pictures and walked around... It was HOT in DC... so very, very hot! We were hoping that we were escaping the heat, by driving north... but NO.... it was HOT.

June Bug decided to cool off by lying in a water fountain in between the phallic memorial and the White House... it was hilarious. Kel and I were laughing too hard to get her out... but no police told us to move... and June Bug didn't get arrested... whew! :)

Then we hopped in the really hot car, and drove to NYC.... where we thought it would be cooler.... was it? NO! It is almost as if we have been bringing the Texas heat with us the whole trip. It was hot and muggy in NYC... like I told Kel, "When I get too hot, I get angry." That makes no sense.. but it's true.

I drove the car into the city... through the Lincoln Tunnel and up 42nd Street. I have to admit, I was nervous about driving in Manhattan... I hate all of the honking... It makes my skin crawl and nerves tingle... but, after a bit of maneuvering, I felt like I fit in perfect (except for the TX plates).

I was swerving in and out of traffic like a real cab driver... All I needed was to honk my horn (a lot) and maybe wear a turban, (I say that because when I told Kel I was like the cab drivers... we looked over to see a cab driver with a turban on... I need to get one).

Kel dropped me off at Nicole's and went to go stay with her friend in Brooklyn. It was so good to see Nicole again (I love her!), I wish I had more time, and wasn't so exhausted.

We chilled at her very cute apt., and were COMPLETELY girly! We watched the Lifetime Original movie about Coco Chanel, with wine, chocolate and cigarettes. The movie was sooo bad.... but sooo good. When we thought two men were about to fight over Coco, they did... but not a fist fight, but with a dance-off! AWESOME! Then we started to watch SNL (with Michael Phelps), Nicole passed out, and I stayed up to watch it. I thought it was the funniest SNL I'd seen in a LONG time. Hilarious!

Today, Kel came over to Nicole's and the three of us went to lunch at a cute place in Chelsea (I can't remember the name - but it was REALLY good!). Then we packed up the car and were off to .... well.... we didn't know... we thought we'd go to Boston, but ended up deciding to detour to Providence, Rhode Island. It got dark and really foggy in Rhode Island.


Kel has a glassblower friend at RISD.... so we stopped to say hello... I love New England! I just absolutely LOVE it! We used to live in Conn when I was little, and I loved it then... and still do. I love the four seasons (although we are bringing the heat with us), and the quaintness and the history... it's so beautiful. Everyone drives at least 20 miles over the speed limit... SERIOUSLY! Especially in Conn, I was going 80 and felt like I was holding up traffic by driving too slow!

Then we decided to drive to Boston... but then decided to drive just past Boston... Kel has to be at her residency tomorrow and wants to get there early, and didn't want to get stuck in Boston traffic.

We are getting along great! Everything is sooo much better... I think we needed to put everything out on the table to make this roadtrip as wonderful as possible. We are enjoying each other and the ride....

Little June Bug is not so little... I swear, by tomorrow she'll be like Clifford, the big red dog, and I'll be the one in a ball on the passenger floorboard!

Friday, September 12, 2008

We See DC


today's trip was much better... sibling-wise... or at least from my seat (passenger with June Bug under foot). June went number-two this morning when i walked her at Beech... and she pooped a lot of worms... Tape worms aren't harmful to puppies... but they are GROSS! EWWWW!

But then, not too long after we stopped at a vet clinic, I thought I had a UTI... talking about a UTI is probably TMI... but this is a blog.... so, no secrets here. (ha)

I called around and finally got a doctor t call in a script along our route.... I was so obsessed and so dramatic (for real this time... but also for a real reason) I wouldn't have blamed kel if she would've kicked me out of the car.... seriously.

Cipro rocks...

Those two medical stops took up some time... but we made it to DC by 9pm.

We are staying with Eva, our sister.... i DC. Eva lived with us in Norway for 4 years from 1991-1995.... she's our sister, not by blood... but might as well be... :)

Celicia and Mari were at Eva's when we got here.... They are good friends from when we lived in Norway... none of us have changed... but as one of them said, isn't it sad when you can't wait to grow up to be different... but you grow up to be the same... Thank God we know more than what we ddi in middle school... but also, Thank God we are essentially the same....

Just incase you've never driven in DC: it is not easy to park... at all! I was freaking out.... I imagined that we would drive for 6 hrs trying to find a spot... but one opened up - right in front of Eva's place... and we got it! whew!

Kel and had a great trip today (well, at least I think so...), We are re-starting on the right foot...

Eva's roommate is very rigid... and is allergic to dogs... so we snuck June in the apt when she left.

Eva loves DC and I can see why. I've been here once before and always like it here...


We all cried prayed and laughed together.... I felt so comfortable.... so much so that I hate to leave....

but NY tomorrow... :)


(after thought)- I usually type after everyone has gone to bed... last night I was too tired to be typing...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Family feuding


Okay... So now I can catch everyone up...

Tuesday, Kelly and I went to breakfast with her friend in Athens, GA. It's a really cute city... definitely a college town. Everyone there is young. We hung out at the ceramics grad student studio... I met some artists... I recognized their work from Kel and my trip to Santa Fe last year. Everyone there is so nice.

After that, we left and headed to North Carolina... Considering how many states we are driving through, we thought it would be a good idea to take pictures of the welcome signs for each state... I wish we'd started that earlier, but we almost forgot to take the "Welcome to South Carolina" sign... so it looks like a blur. We did actually stop at the North Carolina sign.

Family dynamics and relationships are always weird. Kel and I come from the same family.... but are two completely different people. It's hard to remember that we are different... I think that we both have unrealistic expectations of each other. Last year, after Carter died, she was my hero... she took months off of school and stayed with me... She cared about me, when I just wanted to die and didn't care about anything. The hard thing now is that, from an outsider's perspective, I look healed... but I'm still grieving. Tension in the car was building, but I thought it was diffusing...

The first morning of the trip, she woke me up and I was tired, PMSing, had a sore throat... and was totally bitchy... Mid-day, I felt better and I thought the trip was going great... she did not. I need a lot of alone time still... and by me not wanting to go out or hang out all of the time, she took offense to that...

When we got to Penland, all was well... until there was a misunderstanding... and an explosion... I found myself being screamed at by her, "You are the most dramatic person I've ever met!" Which I thought was kinda ironic, considering I wasn't yelling or even angry with her.

The next day... she packed up and took all of my stuff out of her car... and left without saying a word. I was mad... really mad. Later yesterday, she came back to LCW and we talked it out. We were both taking each other way too seriously.... and decided it would be a good idea to take some time away from each other and start the trip over again. Last night she went to Beech Mountain and I stayed at Penland... then Mike drove me up to Beech tonight.

I think everything should be better now... I hope. I'm going to try my best to be sensitive to her. Family relationships are the hardest... and it's strange, considering they are the people I love the most... but are the hardest for me to get along with... I guess there's so much history there.

It was good to go back to the spider-infested cabin... It was good to see Mike and Jake.

Tomorrow we go to DC.... we wont get to NY until Saturday...

I haven't had great cell or internet service... so now I feel behind..... ugh!

I'm still tired... no matter how much sleep I get.... but I don't feel sick. it sucks, I'm tired of being tired. But I'm really glad that I'm on this trip with my sister... no matter how different we are, I love her dearly and she's my best friend.


(btw - this is ME jumping over Kelly! whoa! I had NO idea I was capable of jumping that high... no idea how much of a badass I truly am... no wonder I get hurt... like spraining my ankle this July... too much badass-ness!)

out of touch

I'm still at Penland, I've been here since Tues night. I'm on The way to beech mountain.

I haven't been able to get online. Right now I'm on my phone. But I'll be able to blog tonight.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Road to Athens...


I'm in Athens, GA, in our hotel room. Kelly went to meet her friend out downtown for a bit.

The drive today was 13 hours. It's the longest drive that we have between stops. Today we drove through Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia...

You see interesting things when you drive on the road that long and that far. (Like the truck pic above) Kelly and I saw something that was dead on the side of the road... We guessed, it had to be a sasquatch, or chupacabra or a ROUS (rodent of unusual size - we got that from the movie the Prince's Bride)... She thought it could be a beaver... but I don't think they get THAT big... I think our guess of ROUS was closer...

The puppy was good and laid down the whole time. She's really a sweet girl.

I already miss my pup, Dylan... although I know he's doing just fine.

I'm still really tired. I woke up this morning with a sore throat... Tired + sore throat = me praying I'm not getting sick. I've felt so tired for a while now... maybe I should have listened to my tiredness, rather than trying to ignore it.... or maybe I'm totally fine... just tired.... and sore throat could be allergies...

I've gone a whole year without getting sick... not a cold, the flu or anything... I may be just superstitious, but it seems like as soon as I lost that necklace... well... I won't finish that thought.... because I'm thinking positive. I'll wake up tomorrow and feel great.

I'm looking forward to seeing Mike at Penland, Eva in DC and Nicole in NYC!

Even though we got into Athens at night time, and I haven't seen much of it (at all), this place seems to have a really nice energy... I think I'll really like seeing more of Athens tomorrow.

Alright... gonna try and get some really good restful sleep now.

On the road again...

I slept well last night... well, my schedule is still a little off... but I still slept well and woke up late... it was more sleep than I'm used to getting lately.

I went to see Tropic Thunder today... I thought it was ridiculous and hilarious.... who knew Robert Downey Jr was so funny?! Anyways, I thought it was funny.... (mom and dad: I don't think you'd like it at all).

I'm driving with Kel to Maine... and I was caught off guard when she called me and wanted to get on the road today, instead of tomorrow (Monday)... It really wasn't a problem... I was just unprepared.. not even physically unprepared... (I've never unpacked from NC - I haven't had a chance to)... just psychologically unprepared.... and Panic took over.

I know Steve will take great care of Dylan, and Emily too... But I still freaked about leaving him. I wish he was pocket-sized and I could take him everywhere.... but, he's not.... but at least I know he's in good hands... But I already miss him.

Kel and I made a 4 hr trip today. Her SUV is packed full... and she has her new little Red Bone Coon Hound pup, June Bug, with us. Her car is so full that June was laying under my feet and by my purse.... it's not exactly "spacious." The pup doesn't mind... but she's 3 months old and growing like a weed... I can imagine by the time we actually get to Maine, she'll be like Clifford, the Big Red Dog... and I'll be the one on the floorboard by my purse, while June takes over the car....

Tomorrow we drive to Athens, Georgia... I've never been there, but I hear it's a lot like Austin.... but smaller.

I can't wait to drive into cooler weather... the Texas heat is too much for me. It really, truly gets to me... bad. For me, it's so hot, it's depressing.

I feel like a hobo... I haven't unpacked since May. I have one pair of jeans (with out holes- thank you carley!)... one pair of shoes... But I don't smell or look like a hobo (because I was given lots of fab skinceuticals products... thank you nicole!)... I thought hobo stood for homeward bound.... I like that. But I also would like a travel wardrobe... or something like that....

It's also hard to create when traveling... it's much easier to paint when I'm settled. I brought sketch books and water colors.... but I really don't know when I'll have time... or even if I'll have enough time to make time....

I'm trying to return all of the calls, texts and emails... Please know, I've got a lot going on... It's NOTHING personal... I love you and want to talk and write.... but I'm also not in a great place to sit down and communicate....

I also think I can feel the radiation from my new phone whenever I talk on it... SERIOUSLY! My head hurts and is hot after I'm on this new cell phone for a while.... or even a little bit. is that normal? anyways.... I don't like that feeling... which makes me want to talk on the phone even less than I did before...

This 12 Day adventure has just started! Pictures and stories soon to come!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

To Do

I woke up yesterday at the lakehouse.... indecisive.... so indecisive, that I didn't know if I wanted to wake up or just lay in bed all day... I chose both... kinda.

I've been really tired lately... I've been going and going, and I'd really like to sleep for two days... and even if I couldn't sleep the whole time, I wouldn't mind just staring blankly at a wall.... just need sometime to get my head together....

I'd really like to have time to paint. I'm bummed that I haven't been able to. I could just start painting... but I really don't like painting with people around. I even had to get used to painting in front of people at Penland... but everyone was in the same class, doing the same thing... so it got a bit easier.

I have fallen in love with Shrinky Dinks! So has Sara, and now my sister and her friends.... We've made some really creative ones! I'll post some pics when I can.


Yesterday, my parents were in Austin, so we went to eat at Hula Hut with Mons. The chicken guacamole tubular taco is AMAZING! We had a nice dinner... It was good to see them.

Today, I'm still at my friend Emily and her husband Tyler's house.... I met up with Emily last night. She and Tyler are opening a bar on E. 6th soon.... and have been working on it non-stop. That's actually where she is right now.... there was a minor spray foam emergency at the bar...

Emily is a dear friend of mine and has been for years. She had met Carter twice.... one time was last summer at the lakehouse. The first time I met Tyler was also when Emily came up to the lakehouse a few years ago... I remember thinking, "FINALLY! she's found a great guy!" When we were talking last night, she said after meeting Carter, she told Tyler something similar.

Here's a pic of us from the lakehouse in 05:


I've got a lot to do...

Kelly and I are leaving on Monday for Maine!

We're driving from Austin to Athens to Penland to DC to NYC to Maine.... Then I'm renting a car and driving to Salem, MA and meeting SC there for a few days... we want to tour the witch trials....

I can't wait to get out of this HEAT! UGH! It's so hot that you can smell the ground bake. I love Austin... but it's so hot!

New England will be beautiful... I can't wait!


But SOOO much to do... Does anyone know a dog-sitter in Austin?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

One year


The sunrise at Sunrise Beach, the morning of the 3rd...

It's been a good week... but a hard week.

I haven't had internet access and only was successful getting on blogger with my phone once.

I'm at Starbucks in Marble Falls now... hopefully I'll be able to get back into a routine soon.

The night of Sept 2nd... and the whole day of the 3rd was exactly one year since Carter died. I still miss him....I really was worried about it... but I kept telling myself that really it was just another day... another tuesday.... or wednesday. Each month that passed, I counted... but this mark was different.... even though I kept telling myself that it was just another day... my body told me different.

I had decided not to go to Dallas... I knew that there was a concert going on at Dada... but I couldn't do it... I had to be further away. I heard that the concert was great... everyone I've heard from has said "amazing." But in the end, I know I made the right decision to stay at the lakehouse with Steve, Mons and Kelly.

I was panicky, early on Tuesday... but was okay a little later... Then, the time of night hit me: what were Carter and I doing one year ago to the minute... As strange as this seems, it was almost like a count-down at New Year's... without the party and lightheartedness. It was almost like i relived everything.... When he died, when I was looking for him... when I saw the police.... the whole deal. Mons was great and stayed up with me... Finally at 7am, we watched the sunrise on the lake (the city the lakehouse is in is called Sunrise Beach)... it was a beautiful sunrise... after a difficult night.... I guess it is like a new year in so many ways... I've entered my second year without him, and the person I was before... My second year as "this me."

Weds... the 3rd... yesterday... I slept... a lot. Drained. Slightly aloof... finally around 6, kelly, mons and I (along with dogs) took the boat out on the lake... we had a nice time letting the dogs run and swim... and then Mons went tubing. We all went for a swim afterwards.... We had such a blast.... then....

Between getting the dogs and us back on the boat.. somehow, somewhere, the necklace, that C gave me last summer, was broken and fell to the bottom of the lake. He gave me that necklace because he wanted it to keep me safe... I haven't taken it off... and then one year, to the day he died, it broke and fell to the bottom of lake LBJ.

We searched for it.... but it's gone. I floated in the water, stared at the sky, silently prayed to God, Carter, and angels to help me part with the necklace peacefully... I'm sad... but still making peace with losing it. It was just too coincidental.... It was just an object.. a thing... there's impermanence in everything, and everyone... that's life. ..... but there's also a lot of love.

Those two days, I had an incredible outpouring of condolences and thoughts and prayers, by phone and internet. Thank you, to everyone who sent love... Sometimes when I'm not feeling strong... I borrow strength from your kindness.

I'll be back in the land of internet tomorrow and the next day.... and should be able to catch people up to date even more....

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Shrinky Dink




I haven't written in a while. I'm at The lakehouse... There's no internet here, so I'm blogging from my phone... Which is't The easiest or most comfortable thing for me to do... But at least it's something.
I'm just gonna give a quick run down of my last few days.

I left for The lakehouse on sat. It's on lake lbj about 1 hour 15 mins from lockhart. I met Sara and we made awesome Shrinky Dink jewelry.. It was a lot of fun.... We are addicted to "Shranky Danks!"

On sun or Mon (my days are running together) Mons and Steve came here. We've all been chilling and talking. But haven't done anything on The lake.
I've been feeling tired and quiet... My body today was in fight or flight mode.
Mons did play boggle with me last night. It brought back memories and I cried.
I'm doing okay. I have a lot of support from my friends and family. I'm blessed to have them.

I wanna nap but can't sleep.

Love to all!