Saturday, August 30, 2008

should not type after midnight

Should is a word that cognative therapists have said not to use... because "should brings shame"

also, according to my :"now habit" book on CD, it brings depression (or is it anxiety???)

Well, anyways....


I should be blogging... I should have blogged earlier... but I'm tired... so tired I can't sleep...

I did a TON of driving today...


i'm cross-eyed looking at the laptop screen....


This next week may be hard for me to write.... and function as a human being.... maybe the anticipation is worse than the actual date.... probably...

in my mind there are two dates that scare me: sept 2nd and the 3rd.... to me, he died on the 2nd.... i didn't sleep that night.... or for months after... but I know for everyone else it's the 3rd......... moon and beyond, now please.....


I'm actually alright... like i said, i think i'm building up the date to be something horrible... it's like i'm preparing for the same thing to happen again.... but i know it won;t.... but my brain and body are preparing, just in case.

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