what's normal anyways?

Dallas skyline in my rearview (or sideview... whatever) mirror...

I only spent 12 hours in Dallas... but I'm glad I got at least a little time there. I went by my storage unit today, and unloaded a lot of stuff out of my car: My encaustic painting supplies... my glass stuff... a huge box of stuff (not really sure what's in there... clothes? books? no clue) and a lot of the little things that I brought with me or have collected the last 4 months.... I have SOOO much art stuff... not just paints but papers and objects that I plan to use... or I at least want to have around as an option to use... But I don't have a studio... I only have a storage space... how can I make this work and not feel cluttered and/or scattered? I don't know... It'll come together and I'll figure it out... I always do... (almost always). I left storage with a much lighter car....

...and then, I set off to drive to Midland, to see my family and doggies!

The drive was more beautiful than I remembered... I like the flat openness and incredibly huge sky... I don't think I've ever appreciated that drive like I did today.

I'm here now... Kelly has a new puppy, cutie! My Dylan was so excited to see me... he was acting like a puppy (he wore himself out showing off)... it'll be nice to have him with me... we've been through so much together the last 9 years... I've missed him a ton too. Here's DYLAN:

Jake was also excited to see me.... he ran around and got pets and then ran to his dog bed to go to sleep... He LOVES it here... where Dylan is glued to me like velcro.... making sure I won't leave him again. ... Here's Jake lookin' good!:


I love my parents so much... and I KNOW they love me so much... I'm so blessed to have them as my parents.... with so much love it's still hard to go home... I know this is a common problem, or there wouldn't be so many books on it... (but yet my sister doesn't have any trouble, why?) When I'm elsewhere I feel like I belong, and I'm an adult, and I'm strong and a survivor.... but for some reason, when I get around my parents, I find myself trying to prove that I'm an adult, that I deserve respect, that I have ideas worth hearing... Which I know is mostly me projecting... But I don't know what triggers it... or how not to, or if it's gotten worse in the last year... it seems like it has... if so why? questions questions... So, of course there was a misunderstanding... and after a long deep talk... and everything's great now... but I wanna find a way to communicate better... WE want to find a way to communicate easier... Why do I always end up debating with my dad late at night? So, we've made a deal: no talk of politics or religion.... and then we laughed, "what do we talk about then?"

I'm tired... but up late (again)... I've been thinking about new encaustic paintings to do... I thought about taking some old children's books that my parents used to read to me and photocopying them to collage... My mom found some trophies of mine from when I was little... one for volleyball, one for swimming, one for track and one for a ceramics painting thing in 89 (I didn't remember that one at all! so funny)... hmmm... what could i do with those? sculpture? that might be creepy... maybe I could save them for a white elephant party! Ha! Or give them out as gifts: happy birthday! here's my trophy for swim team in 1990. ... or I could stick to customizing dinosaur coloring books...

speaking of.... I think I've been officially converted to a dinosaur lover... I saw this on the side of I20 on the way to Midland, and I HAD to pull over and take pics... yup... dino-fan....