So, yesterday, I'm driving to Starbucks in my rented yellow VW bug... and I'm searching through my purse... and then I felt something, flat and plastic... something that I hadn't felt before in my purse... So, I pulled it out.... and what was it? A CA (cocaine anonymous) 60 days of sobriety keychain!!!!
My head said: WHAT?!? NO WAY?!?
My eyes said: WAY!
Where did it come from? I have NO idea. and NO, it's not mine!
I knew someone put it in my purse (the purse I bought just before NC and the only one I've used since then...). So, I called the "usual suspects"; the people most likely to have pulled a prank like that... They all laughed so hard; I knew it couldn't have been them... I have no clue where it's from... but still, it's really funny.
So now I have a 60-days of sobriety from cocaine keychain... I'm not using it.. but I am keeping it!
After finding that little "present" I said goodbye to Cas, Andrew and Gwen and left for the airport...
I made my flight.... on time. When I was boarding, the airline employee at the gate scanned my ticket and asked, "Just you?"
"Just me," I responded and then thought about it: just me? wow, I've never been asked that while boarding before... It made me feel really lonely all of a sudden...
I felt a little less lonely when I noticed that the airplane didn't have a 13th row... and then started to wonder if all airplanes had row numbers 12 and 14, but no 13.... hmmm?
But then I sat down in my seat... and remembered the "Just you?" question....
Usually, I buy interesting, (or trashy) magazines for the plane... that's the only time that I buy magazines... I never talk to my seatmates..... and I try to make it obvious my looking more engrossed in the magazine than I really am....
But after the "Just you?" ... I decided I'd try, and would actually talk a little bit to whoever sat next to me... Then he sat next to me.... a young, post-teen, asian american, with a mohawk and acne.... I made the normal chit chat you normally do on the plane: "Are you from Dallas?" ... he was... and we had a conversation for a few minutes, and then I took out my Psychology Today magazine, with confidence that he'd take the hint.....
MISTAKE! He wouldn't stop talking to me. On the flight from Orlando to Dallas, he talked the entire time... would ask me what I was reading, making comments about what I was reading over my shoulder... I wanted to say, "Don't you have an iPod or something to listen to???" but I didn't... instead I gave him my other magazine and said, "Why don't you read this?" But it was more of a command than a question.
He said he didn't like to read... just pictures.... UGH! I was starting to really want a cigarette... and for him to be quiet...
Then he got a headache... which he told me about countless times... At this point, I was obviously annoyed when he'd interrupt .. but he didn't get the hint... at all. I pretended to sleep.... but he kept talking... I had the magazine blocking his view from my face.... still talking....
Finally, 20 mins before the flight landed, all of a sudden he got quiet, and asked: "So, like, can I get your number?"
SERIOUSLY!?!??!?!
Without hesitation... AT ALL, I snapped: "NO!"
Finally, he shut-up (yay!) and was quiet for the rest of the time... he didn't try to talk to me again... not even once!
Usually I'd feel bad.... and honestly, if he'd asked me earlier in the flight, I'd probably have been nice and given him my Myspace... or a fake number... but, at that point.... I was about to smack him... so, I don't feel bad. Really... I don't; NOT AT ALL!
Will I ever try to talk to someone on the plane again? Probably not... I really look forward to my magazine indulgence.
Yet, another reason I prefer to drive!
1 comment:
I can imagine so many of your stories turning into Seinfield episodes.
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