I slept for over 12 hours last night! I can't even believe I slept that long. And I'm tired now... I feel like all of my creativity was a wave... and now it's being sucked out with the tide... I still showed up: on the page and in the studio... But I felt overwhelmed and prayed for some guidance... I think I heard the answer: Patience, keep showing up and be patient.
I don't have any pictures... but... I thought I'd post some of my Notes to Self that I keep in my cell phone, just incase anyone has ever cared about the random notes in my cell phone... (I have no idea when I wrote these, some I don't even remember writing... and they're listed alphabetically):
Anger
People. New you. New Us. But don't know. Ignorance spreads. I know us. Knew you, knew me. New you. New Me. Why does the conspiracy sow a seed in the pit of my mind, and grow to emit blackness, in the absence of light...
I mean, seriously?!? what's up with the angry 15 yr old goth chick leaving notes on my phone?!?
Art Stuff
Griddle
Quilting Iron
Resin Jewelry Kit
Glass Cutter
Storage Case
Oil Paints
Sewing Pattern
YAY! I've gotten all of those items! check! check! check!
Easy
it's so easy to play it safe. And then get stuck. Stuck in routine. Stuck in the trenches of the easiest path. Stuck in what other people like about me and what I think they don't. Stuck in the past, and future. Stuck in my head and to my thoughts. Stuck in collage... Just stuck.
God
God is love and light not guilt and fear. Those are the elements of our soul not our bodies, which are dying. God is more than society and culture. God is more than contradiction and paradox in everything and everywhere. Life and death, above the cycles of human existence, God is the creator, nothing god creates ever ends. the absence of god is judgement fear guilt. God is not in the past or future; not anymore, and not yet... But god is very present in this moment and every moment.
That one had a little bit of background as to why I wrote it.
Laura Ingram
Laura ingram show?
MEAN.
Her name sounds like she should be nice. Sounds like The Little House on the Prairie.
HA! that makes me laugh...and it's very true.
Superhero Powers
Are funny.
That's what I wrote... (I'm shaking my head in disbelief)
Things to Look at
Studio Space
Residencies
Yeah, so that didn't happen....
Today
I didn't choose the road less traveled. It chose me. It's not easy, but I have to treat it like the most precious gift i could ever be given. It gives me place purpose love to share with others. it's awakened my soul, and hopefully my journey can help others to awaken.
true... but it's called "today" and I'm not sure which day that really was...
I have NO idea when I wrote any of these... except one: "Easy". .. I wrote that tonight.. and then I looked at the other strange notes on my phone, and thought: wow, these are weird.
There's one that I didn't want to share.. so it's still on my phone... it's titled "Survivors Guilt" ... I'm not really ready to share it... so I won't.
and about the goth-chick leaving notes to self on my phone... I found her... in my myspace photos... except she's about 26... not 15 ... yikes!
2 comments:
You are the first person I've known to also do Notes to Self. I have a small notebook filled with notes to self.
Thanks for being open and sharing your thoughts...
Wow! I'm not alone, and not as strange as I thought I was. I, too, COMPULSIVLY make "notes to self" (some therapist would have a field day with them). Yours just show what I already (thought) I new, you are as talanted (though wary of your talent), trying to heal, but knowning you won't be quite the same, moving on without letting go as I am (really bad syntax for someone with a degree in English). Also, you are, hands down, the bravest person I know. So, take care out there my friend. You are moving forwards so much. Someday I hope to pick up the phone and hear from you way out here in the desert.
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