Show Tomorrow!

I'm in Dallas. The opening reception for the show is tomorrow!

Here are the details:

Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009
Time: 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: Magnolia Theatre, upstairs
Address: 3699 McKinney Ave, Dallas, TX
check www.magnoliagallerydallas.com for updates and pictures.

The show runs from August 20th - September 23rd.

I've been moving and haven't had an internet connection.... and haven't made time to blog... but I've gotten a lot of work done since the last time I blogged.

I've changed several of the pieces significantly and I now have 8 pieces on wood, plus the 4 silhouettes on canvas.

I'm actually happy with the work, and it looks great up on the walls! Thanks to Scott and Nicole Horn at Magnolia!!!

silhouette x4 = creative flow?

This is my 25 week (now 26 wk) belly that keeps getting in the way of serious arts and crafty-ness:



My second day of 4 hours of painting... and guess what?!?! I got blocked!

YUP! Creative constipation... and I was doing so good too... which is when the blockage usually strikes...

When I'm not on a time crunch, I have several methods of de-clogging myself:

1. Sit and stare at my piece for days or weeks at a time.

2. Ask any and everyone I come across what their suggestion would be...

3. Draw patterns.... trace patterns, draw patterns... I'll spend weeks working on tedious intricate patterns that I'll never really use.

4. Paint over what I have and start completely over.


Because I'm on a time crunch... I don't have time for any of the above.

So, I did this instead:

I bought 4 canvases.
I found an image I like.
I decided to paint the silhouette of the image on each canvas in different colors.

I finished one tonight:


I almost gave up on it half way through. But I pushed through... I think 4 of them, in different colors, will look nice hanging together. Plus, I can price them a bit lower... and they're simple. Maybe people will like them... Maybe painting 4 of these will be just the creative deblocker I need to get my flow back. (wow... I'm quite the wordsmith tonight!)

I'm crossing my fingers!

Gathering information

Yesterday, I looked at studio space here in Austin...

I loved it! The web site is pumpproject.org

My friend Anne's husband is a very talented jewelry designer, and he rents space there. His web site is limbojewelry.com,

I also met an artist who does mixed media. This is his website's link jhaleyarts.com .... Since I also like to use found objects, mixed media and found surfaces, I talked to him for a while... I really like his work... and processes... it was great to talk to him, and find out how he was getting certain effects and different processes...

Everyone there was very nice.

So... that's an option...

I also talked to a friend of Steve Collins last night... she's working on a book right now... she gave me some great advice and is going to email me a book proposal form for me to use...

I talked to her about the Big Bend book... and then I told her about the other book I want to write... pretty much a raw look at my journal entries and my art and how they both evolved during my grieving process... She strongly suggested that I work on the art/grief book first...

I'd like to, but it still seems so raw... and sometimes like it's still unfinished because I'm still in the process, sometimes it seems so far away, and yet some of the emotions are still raw... but maybe she's right...

I also met up with Rev and talked to him about getting hooked up in the marketing loop here in Austin. It's doable... and he has his other company pictureperfecteventco.com which is a full service company for events... nationwide. I'm looking forward to working with him....

So, a lot to do... more to do... I'm still at the gathering information stage... all's great though... things seem to be coming together more and more...

Yesterday

Everything at The Gypsy Wagon went well yesterday. After so much freaking out, I woke up yesterday morning and finally chilled out. I had a lot to do... Go pick up prints and scans from Thomas Reprographics and prints at the other printing place... But, I finally let go of how I expected things to go... and just let things happen...

And everything went great!

Thank you so much to everyone who came out! It was so good to see everyone!

I sold a few prints... We left my work up for today... and I'll pick up some of it to bring back to Midland with me tomorrow.

Here's a piece that got a good response from, that I haven't posted on my blog before (or at least not in a long time)


Thanks so much to Carley, Johnny, Lauren and everyone else who helped and came out.

:)

I was SOOO tired last night... I was trying to make it to the Granada Theater last night... but I was so tired, I could barely stand... I came back to Sara's and slept for 15 hours... and it felt GOOD!

Trials and Errors

Crazy day!

I'm in Dallas. Met with the scanner.... then the printer....

I started to freak out and tried to call Carley about tomorrow's show at The Gypsy Wagon, but couldn't get ahold of her... She was very pregnant. That's why we decided to do the show this weekend and not any later...

I couldn't get ahold of her because she had her baby today! He decided he wanted an early arrival. I'm so happy for she and her husband. I talked to them on the phone and they sound excited and great! ... I felt bad asking her about the show... and what to do, and how to price and everything.... just even bringing it up today.... She won't be able to be there tomorrow... I'm really happy for them... everything will go fine tomorrow.... (I'm trying to convince myself)

Just a little while ago, I began finishing another piece..... DISASTER!

I dropped it and it cracked.... quite a bit.... but I'm using lacquer to seal the cracks., and I'm crossing my fingers that that will work.... So I started to work on the background.... and lacquer the paper to the piece of glass I'm going to attach to the back of the other piece... I wouldn't stick! not at all! UGH!

So frustrating!

So now I've got a board and an axe on the board holding it down, so hopefully it will stick... If not, I'm taking that axe to the whole thing!


I no patience waiting for things to dry (like glue, lacquer.... even paint).... I've said this before: when I'm making art, I'm all about instant gratification.

Lacquer takes a L-O-N-G time to dry... that's why I'm inside blogging.... releasing a little frustration and taking up time, so I don't just sit there and stare at it....

I really don't want to lose this piece... I like this piece... I'm really hoping what I'm doing now will fix it.

hello.... goodnight

My mind is going crazy.... I'm tired but cant sleep...

I hope I have everything together for Friday... I didn't paint today... I picked up my prints and bought some frames and worked to put some of the finishing touches on a few pieces... I still have more to do..

It's not that it's a big show... it's gonna be very laid back, just more of a preview and meet and greet... but, I'm trying to get so much done.... because after this weekend I start to look for a place to live and a job of some sort in Austin.

I also have my first solo show at the Magnolia Gallery in Dallas this summer! YAY!

so, I'd like to have some work finished for that show... because after I move (and I'm working and getting settled and adjusted and all of that fun stuff), I don't know where I'll be able to paint.... I'm thinking too far ahead.... Sometimes I've gotta just pull myself back into the present...

okay... back.

We have a new president!!! America just became a much cooler country!

Alright, goodnight!

"Does that make sense?!"

A few weeks ago, when I was in Dallas, I was interviewed for the Dallas Morning News Home section, about my art work...

The woman who interviewed me is so nice, she is the same one who did my write up for DailyCandy.com back in May.

But, I felt scattered in the interview... because there was SO much to say, and I had only an hour. I wanted her to know all of my artistic journey (which is not as much DMN article material as it is... well... a BOOK). I didn't know where to start, or what to say...

I tried my best... she told me I was making sense... I wasn't sure...

Usually when I'm talking about many things I'm passionate about simultaneously I usually ask, "does that make sense?" over, and over and over again..... because, most of the time, I know what I'm trying to say... but my words don't capture my thoughts and feelings... and I'm very abstract at times... so most people just smile and nod when I ask, "does that make sense?"

This is what I wrote in my journal afterwards ... also I sent her an email afterwards, with the subject "Things I shoulda said":

"10-26-08
I just had an interview about my art. It's so hard to put my art into an hour long interview. I have journals and blogs that chronicle most of my journey, my life's journey.... learning... healing. I don't even know how to describe everything... and put it in a nutshell...

My art is so much bigger than me... about honesty, healing, stories.... my stories.... telling stories with symbols... but sometimes even a simples shape or object carries more weight than I can even know.. It comes from something else... in me... but not me... God? Love? The collective consciousness? Every little moment in time and each story since the beginning has brought me to my place, my current story... it's not even MY art...

Art was always there... and will always be... art and love.

Unfortunately, for most (including me), it takes suffering to be able to see, really SEE, the art and love in everything. Carter's death was the catalyst for my art... but it does not define it... but with love he's allowed me to see.. and share.

To me, art at first was a story.. my story, and heart crying to make sense of senselessness... Now art I make has changed as the story has evolved... I'm awake and alert... my eyes are opened, and i want to express that sight/insight with art. I try to respond moment by moment... Not holding on to how things are "supposed to be"... because we don't know how things are "supposed to be" ... that's the mystery of life, our stories are never what they're supposed to be (to us), but they are the pieces of the fabric of stories that come together to create the human story of life....

When I make art now, I want to share my journey. When I travel and see beautiful scenery; a landscape, and remember the landscape, I don't just remember the view, but I remember the feel of the rock i sat on, the falcon that flew over my head, the butterfly that landed by me, as if it wanted to be observed... they aren't the snapshot of the landscape, but they are a part of my experience and connection to that landscape at that moment... With art I try to express my personal experiences in those moments.."


Sorry.... a little longer than i meant to write... and I left a lot out... So, did that make sense? ha. joking... kinda....

Well, i don't know when the article is coming out... I'm working on new work too... I'd like to get into a gallery.... because I don't know how to do this myself... I am sending stuff to the Gypsy Wagon... so they'll have prints... I get overwhelmed with that part...

So, today... I read the book The Shack. I got it... but I'll talk about it another time.

i really really really wanted to do something else instead of the encaustic collage I've been working on... but I HAD to fix it... so I did... a bit... still not done, but not annoying me so badly:



Then I started a new really small collage, it might be done... It's so hard to tell... I think if they were both framed nicely, it'd make a HUGE difference...



Sorry about the photos.. My camera still has this big black blurry spot in the picture...

what are you wrapped up in?

When I was in Dallas a week or two ago (wow, time is so insignificant...), I participated in my friend Tiffany Volmer's project. (original concept by tiffany volmer, photography by hal samples).

Tiff is putting together a project about women and what they are wrapped up in. She started this two years ago, when she experienced significant losses in her own life. That kind of suffering makes any soul search... and want to express themselves... that's what i do... that's what Tiffany is doing....

It comes from such a honest place. The place where suffering makes you crumble or leaves you no choice but to be stronger than you ever thought you'd be... That's why I agreed to participate in Tiff's project, with Hal Samples (a friend and an amazing photographer).

I'm only one of the women and concepts of Tiff's idea, and Hal's photography.... But i want to share my experience.

Tiff (a make-up artist and costume designer... also just a badass artist), painted me all white... even my hair... which took washing at LEAST 35 times before the oily white base came off....

It was translucent, and Tiff made a heart that was broken, but then glued back together and then tied with a bow of gauze... and that was glued on my chest. She also penciled in veins... to show, (my words, not her's... yet) that the heart was broken but mended... i was white... but the heart still pumped blood through my veins...

She will be setting up a website soon... and I'll keep everyone posted on her project... and Hal Samples (www.halsamples.com) is the amazing photographer who took these photo's and many more.... I feel the two of them worked together to create an amazing experience for me that expresses loss, suffering and a broken heart, but also hope, and love... LOVE that we choose to let help us to overcome suffering and make us more awake to love and so, so much stronger....

those two are an incredible team.... thank you to both... I'm so glad I was able to be a part of your project.

synchronicity.

Are there coincidences or are all coincidences signs; synchronicity...

Who knows... maybe I'm more alert and awake... maybe it's just because I believe... i don't know...

The other day I had a deep conversation with Steve, about signs, what I've learned and seen and continue to... he told me that my signs reminded him of a book, "A Severe Mercy" ... He sent me a link to the book on Amazon.com...

This is a brief synopsis from the review on Amazon.com:

After her death Sheldon embarks on an intense experience of grief, "to find the meaning of it, taste the whole of it ... to learn from sorrow whatever it had to teach." Through painstaking reveries, he comes to discover the meaning of "a mercy as severe as death, a severity as merciful as love." He learns that her death "had these results: It brought me as nothing else could do to know and end my jealously of God. It saved her faith from assault. ...And it saved our love from perishing."

When looked into it, I read the review (which is all too familiar) and the cover of the book stopped me: Ii thought I'd stayed up too late, or was crazy, but the man on the cover resembled C... the couple resembled me and C... I've been reassured by friends that I was not crazy... they see it too...


Today I saw my dear friend Kristin... she bought me a print from an artist. The artist is Brian Andreas... the print is called "More Fair"

She found it at a gallery in Galveston a week before it was destroyed by Ike... the print says:

"They left me with your shadow,
saying things like: Life is not fair

& I believed them for a long time.

But today, I remembered the way you laughed
& the heat of your hand in mine...
& I knew that life is more fair than we can ever imagine...

if we are there to live it."

The song, the book, the gift... they're all gifts.... gifts of knowledge that we are all connected... that we are all connected by God, by love... that's all we need... that's all we came with, and that's all we leave with...

thank you to my beautiful friends.

I'm in Dallas for tomorrow's Sorta CD release show... I'm glad, but nervous... then I go to Austin.. then back to Dallas for several days of appointments.. and such...

Busy. busy...

New eyes... and mannequin parts

I'm really getting excited to be here in Midland for a while... What was holding me back for so long? I guess it was Pride, (I mean it in a 7 deadly sins way... not a good way)...

When my family moved to Midland, I was 16... I had to leave my friends and boyfriend to move to Midland, and unsure if I'd actually be able to have my junior and senior high school years together, in one city, I skipped my junior year. I started school in Midland as a senior, with one goal: GET OUT of Midland as SOON as possible... and I did. I never thought my family would settle down anywhere, especially not Midland... So, I've always had a 16 year-old's negative gotta-get-outta-here-ASAP attitude about Midland and everything Midland. I'm just sorry it's taken me until this week to realize it.

I've always wanted to PROVE myself as a self sufficient adult... and I have been (sometimes better than others... my past good and bad decisions prove that)...

My world fell apart when Carter was killed... I lost my best friend, my lover, our plans, my plans, our future, my view about life and everything, my home, my sense of safety, security, self confidence... I guess, I lost me and my place.

I had to surrender... and did, and I've gained and learned and I'm re-establishing... but i had one last hold out... like Custer, I had my last stand... that that was "no way, no how, not ever will I move to Midland and live with my parents"... that was Pride... now that I've let go of that, humbled myself, and accepted that it's for the best... well, Now I'm excited, and I'm able to enjoy it... I plan to experience this, not like an angry 16 yr old, but as me now. I'm pretty happy with that.
(photo by Justin Voight)

Now for the artsy stuff:

I've been so excited, that I've started to get to work on ideas (a HUGE book full of stream of consciousness ideas and writings), I did a little shopping...

Mervyn's in Midland is closing... I went there to find an electric griddle (which I didn't... but if anyone has one that they want to get rid of, please let me know).. But everything there is for sale... displays, and even trash cans! So, I bought some mannequin parts! AWWW YEAH! Installation sculptural art! and I've got ideas kickin' already.


I also bought a projector.... and got to work on different transfer techniques... all trial and error...


I think by the time we get the photos, art and sculpture together, we'll be able to put out our book!

My idea is to have a show at a gallery to release the book and art.... Maybe even in a few cities... like Oklahoma City, Dallas, Midland, Austin, Marfa... or more or less... But I think it would be a great idea...

We'll have to look for galleries... or space to exhibit... or if anyone knows of one, lemme know... even though it won't be ready til at LEAST next spring, it doesn't hurt to start thinking about it now...

yay!