Moth balls? no....

My mom and I went and saw Bride Wars today... as she said, "It was no Gran Torino" .... unfortunately, I haven't seen Gran Torino yet... so, I can't compare, but can only imagine...

Actually, the main reason we went to go see Bride Wars was our friend Michael Arden is in it! He's great (as always)... and plays Kate Hudson's assistant/Mr. of Honor....

After that, it was time for business... <:o)E

I did a little work on the chandelier piece... it seemed like it lacked definition and outline towards the top of the piece... and I also just worked on the moth... but the change is SO slight, that even if I were to point it out, I'm not sure anyone (except for me) would be able to see it.

I did take the Girl with the hood.... (orange hood... green background...) ... remember how attached to her I was?!

Yeah, Well.... i painted the whole thing read and orange and purple!

I felt so much better once I painted over her!

I really like the moth painting.. and I like what moths personally symbolize to me.... Part of that is: searching for a light in the darkness....

That means a lot to me... searching... seeking... wanting to find the light... the strength... all of that has been part of my "new life" in the last year...

I thought i may do a moth series... (there are SOOO many GORGEOUS moths!) ... i still love moths SO much more than butterflies...

butterflies? ... *yawn*...

I bought a book in Austin at a thrift store on Lamar (not Salvation Army... but similar)... and I took the book and cut out hexagons to stick on the wood board (with matte medium) and then I painted the moth... simple... but it takes a LONG time



This piece has a WAYS to go... I want to make the bottom wings larger.... and look more like owl eyes... (that's what I think they look like...)


Okay.... so tomorrow (today)... Barak Obama is our new President! it's a new day! and I'll be working on the same moth from yesterday... but that's okay.... hey, that rhymes!

PPS... I still have NOT found a way to frame and hang this piece....



there's more...

productivity and a new pink camera = happiness!

I was so productive today!

I think, by letting some pressure out of my head, and into my planner, and blog, and journal, I feel sooo much better!

One thing I did that makes me REALLY happy: I returned that Canon-Elph-whatever-crap camera and bought a Sony Cybershot! It was the second time I've been to BestBuy and tried to return it... they all remembered me. They asked me what was wrong with it... I told them "everything! I hate everything about it!"... of course they were shocked... (news to me but:) It seems that NO ONE (except me) hates Canons... They said it was my fault... It could be, I'm not good at following directions... or reading them... but I exchanged it anyway... and I love my new camera! The pics I've taken look awesome! plus it's pink! Who doesn't love a pink camera?!?

I found a reprographics place in Midland (Reynolds Brothers) ... I talked to them on the phone and I'm gonna go and check it out tomorrow...

I also bought a griddle and a small blow torch..... as well as some paraffin wax.... So, I'm back to encaustic painting... for real!
Paraffin wax cleans the colored wax off of brushes... but I've also noticed that it thins the medium even more, making the wax more like paint... and it's good for delicate things like leaves and butterfly wings, without making them too waxy.... and cloudy...

I've even started to make my usual encaustic studio mess!


I also start riding horses again tomorrow... maybe I'll bring my new fancy camera and get some pics!

So, i pulled out all of the work that I think is done... and some of the stuff I'm still working on... and some that I shouldn't keep working on but can't help myself....

This little owl is on cardboard... he's about a 5x7... I'm gonna use him.. I like him more and more...


The background of this piece, I started before I left for North Carolina last May... I tried (and failed) to do some stuff with resin... but today, I added the other stuff on top.... It's not done... I'm not sure if I like it at all... Cas suggested that I add a moon... which I'll try tomorrow...


This was another "Bird and Key".... but it was bugging me... So I've been trying to get crafty with it... I found this moth... I LOVE this moth... and on this color background... the moth and doily are just placed on top.... not attached yet... just an option that I'm considering...


I've been working on this piece with the chandelier for a YEAR now... I added the black wash over the whole piece and have been staring at it for months... today, I painted the chandelier in a light wash of a bright red...


People who know me well, know that I can't stand being told what I can and can't do... It's not that I try to be rebellious... I just have to find out for myself... and a lot of the time, that means "the hard way".... well... In our encaustic class, I was told, "you can't paint acrylic over oil paint"... well... I had done that... It TOTALLY sucked and was REALLY difficult.... but I had done it (once)... We were also told, you can't paint acrylic over wax... well, today, I broke that rule and had to try it out... and so far so good... I'm really pleased with the result...

This is a painting I'd been working on for a while... I decided the heart needed a heart shape around it in string... then I added the flames/triangles/points around the right side... and then I used black acrylic paint *gasp!*, on the inside of the heart.... to make it pop a bit.... that worked so well, that I used the same paint on the bird in areas...

The only thing that is bugging me about this piece is the wax looks so cloudy... and dulls the black and the pattern... but overall I'm happy with it... and I'm glad I don't always believe what people tell me!


I'm not sure what people are going to think of my new work... it's different than what I was doing before.... much more collage, and experimentation... i may go back to acrylics at some point... they're predictable and easy to add on top of... but maybe I wont... But I think I will... at least more than I'm using them now...

getting going again

I decided to put this at the top, rather than the bottom of my blog.... just to mix it up! :o)

It seems like every year, after Thanksgiving, time starts to go at a mind-blowing pace... soon it's Christmas... then New Year's .... not to mention the tons of birthdays in-between (all you Sags and Caps!)... and in one month, it'll be 2009.... time to re-evaluate from where I was last year... time to plan where I hope to be next year... It's the only time of year that I really wish I had an extra month... a month of preparation? maybe...

Today, I was feeling better... the first day I've been able to get out of bed, and for the most part, stay out of bed. My head cold or allergies have beaten me... or had beaten me... until today.

I made time to go to my studio today...

I'm going to Dallas, and will be painting in Art Conspiracy 4 this year.... It always makes me nervous. All of the artists are given an 18x18 piece of plywood, and we have only a few hours to paint on it.... then, Dec. 6th, they are auctioned off for charity... last year was a lot of fun... but I was nervous then too.

Today I started going over, what should I paint? should I start painting now? Should I just plan? and then the SMART voice inside my head told me, stop preparing and just do what you can do today.... So... I listened...

I thought if I did a sketch of a painting or two, that maybe I'd be a little more confident when it came time for Friday's Paint-a-thon....

So, I started off with this little owl.... he's just a 5x7 acrylic on cardboard...




Then I moved on to the 24x24 piece of wood that I painted green... and I started painting the girl in the red hood (now it's an orange hood)...


I'm still working on getting the bones of it down, so that I can actually paint it.... one thing I decided today... I'd much rather work on a primed board.... The paint goes on so much smoother... Like I said, these are just the beginning stages... I've got a lot more work to do on her...


Another thing... I'm going to Hawaii with my friend Bek! Yes, we leave the 16th and get back the 23rd.... so, I guess, I'm definitely on the road again.

Love,
r

Showed up

MY MESS (above)... ugh... I wish I was more organized.. and was better at math and accuracy.... oh well, maybe in my next life... what does the testimint say?!? jk omg lol!

I think I regained a bit of creativity and energy today... My legs are even more sore than they were yesterday... but I feel okay...

My little sister told my mom last Sunday that she could "see some of the 'old Ryann' coming back... like before when she was happy." (okay... that made me cry... in a good way... even just typing it).

So, there are a lot of people I know that are checking out J.'s new movie, as I type... and I keep getting emails, myspace and facebook messages from friends who just put two and two together: my brother= this movie.... rathbone=rathbone. We are all going to see the movie in Midland, when it first opens here: tomorrow. My aunt sent us candy vampire fangs and all!!! awww yeah! Twilight opening N'awlins style!

I actually felt more creative today.... I didn't when I "showed up"... by showing up, I mean, I showed "up on the page" and wrote; I went into my studio and did something.... anything......

Sometimes I would grab a color of paint. The first one I painted with was a watered down acrylic soft black with a little cream. I painted over what was just wood.. with the same stenciled acrylic paint pattern.....and then, the other big board... i painted green.... i thought about painting it magenta... but that green was my first instinct and i'll stick with that...

then I did this other one (but the pattern outline may go):


There's a painting that my parents have had for a loooong time.. probably before i was born: it is this painting: (I did not paint this... I don't know who the artist is):


I've ALWAYS LOVED it! and I think I want to paint her on the green background with an orange-y hood...... dunno,... we'll see...
Everytime I hear the song, "hey there little miss riding hood, you sure are looking good...." I think of this painting...

Word play... and more

Okay... So I may have exaggerated a BIT on the photo of me jumping on the horse... Although, I DID jump pretty high jumps that were 6ft apart... with this horse, and even in the same place, and with the same trainer... but this photograph is of a jump that's just an average height... but I still think it's a cool photo.



That photo was taken in Norway... I learned a lot of the language when I was over there... and being a pre-teen and young-teen while living there, we'd laugh about certain Norwegian words that sounded funny... But, until I was at Eva's apartment in DC this summer... Kel and I realized that we completely missed one HI-LAR-I-OUS word... What's a bit sad is I'm laughing about it, now (almost 30), instead of 13...

Eva had a Norwegian tabloid magazine at her place, and I opened up to this, and cracked up:



"Fart" in norwegian, means fast... or speed... So, it means something like: "real fast" or "full speed"... but still! How did I live in Norway for so many years and never think that was funny... Kelly was hilarious... when i showed it to her, her jaw dropped... and Eva quizzed me on my Norwegian... and was impressed I knew what it meant...

Today, I read, cleaned... and did a little more art stuff... and bugged some of my friends, by calling and texting.

Here's some of what I've done:


This is an encaustic I started this summer... I just didn't feel it was finished %100... and it seemed unbalanced... so I added orange string... and made a heart shape around the heart... I think now all it needs is a little bit of light blue string next to the orange... and then a frame.... and then... VOILA! it's finished! yay!


I know this looks the same as it did before... but it's NOT at all... i've been going over and over these patterns with different colors... who knows what it'll end up being!

And this is a small collage I started... I tried to use Mod-Podge instead of wax... but the tissue paper (that I wanted to be clear) wouldn't go clear with mod-podge, so I put wax over that... and took a photo that I had printed on tissue paper... but it ripped... the yellow thing is probably going on there somewhere... I just haven't decided yet...

synchronicity.

Are there coincidences or are all coincidences signs; synchronicity...

Who knows... maybe I'm more alert and awake... maybe it's just because I believe... i don't know...

The other day I had a deep conversation with Steve, about signs, what I've learned and seen and continue to... he told me that my signs reminded him of a book, "A Severe Mercy" ... He sent me a link to the book on Amazon.com...

This is a brief synopsis from the review on Amazon.com:

After her death Sheldon embarks on an intense experience of grief, "to find the meaning of it, taste the whole of it ... to learn from sorrow whatever it had to teach." Through painstaking reveries, he comes to discover the meaning of "a mercy as severe as death, a severity as merciful as love." He learns that her death "had these results: It brought me as nothing else could do to know and end my jealously of God. It saved her faith from assault. ...And it saved our love from perishing."

When looked into it, I read the review (which is all too familiar) and the cover of the book stopped me: Ii thought I'd stayed up too late, or was crazy, but the man on the cover resembled C... the couple resembled me and C... I've been reassured by friends that I was not crazy... they see it too...


Today I saw my dear friend Kristin... she bought me a print from an artist. The artist is Brian Andreas... the print is called "More Fair"

She found it at a gallery in Galveston a week before it was destroyed by Ike... the print says:

"They left me with your shadow,
saying things like: Life is not fair

& I believed them for a long time.

But today, I remembered the way you laughed
& the heat of your hand in mine...
& I knew that life is more fair than we can ever imagine...

if we are there to live it."

The song, the book, the gift... they're all gifts.... gifts of knowledge that we are all connected... that we are all connected by God, by love... that's all we need... that's all we came with, and that's all we leave with...

thank you to my beautiful friends.

I'm in Dallas for tomorrow's Sorta CD release show... I'm glad, but nervous... then I go to Austin.. then back to Dallas for several days of appointments.. and such...

Busy. busy...

New eyes... and mannequin parts

I'm really getting excited to be here in Midland for a while... What was holding me back for so long? I guess it was Pride, (I mean it in a 7 deadly sins way... not a good way)...

When my family moved to Midland, I was 16... I had to leave my friends and boyfriend to move to Midland, and unsure if I'd actually be able to have my junior and senior high school years together, in one city, I skipped my junior year. I started school in Midland as a senior, with one goal: GET OUT of Midland as SOON as possible... and I did. I never thought my family would settle down anywhere, especially not Midland... So, I've always had a 16 year-old's negative gotta-get-outta-here-ASAP attitude about Midland and everything Midland. I'm just sorry it's taken me until this week to realize it.

I've always wanted to PROVE myself as a self sufficient adult... and I have been (sometimes better than others... my past good and bad decisions prove that)...

My world fell apart when Carter was killed... I lost my best friend, my lover, our plans, my plans, our future, my view about life and everything, my home, my sense of safety, security, self confidence... I guess, I lost me and my place.

I had to surrender... and did, and I've gained and learned and I'm re-establishing... but i had one last hold out... like Custer, I had my last stand... that that was "no way, no how, not ever will I move to Midland and live with my parents"... that was Pride... now that I've let go of that, humbled myself, and accepted that it's for the best... well, Now I'm excited, and I'm able to enjoy it... I plan to experience this, not like an angry 16 yr old, but as me now. I'm pretty happy with that.
(photo by Justin Voight)

Now for the artsy stuff:

I've been so excited, that I've started to get to work on ideas (a HUGE book full of stream of consciousness ideas and writings), I did a little shopping...

Mervyn's in Midland is closing... I went there to find an electric griddle (which I didn't... but if anyone has one that they want to get rid of, please let me know).. But everything there is for sale... displays, and even trash cans! So, I bought some mannequin parts! AWWW YEAH! Installation sculptural art! and I've got ideas kickin' already.


I also bought a projector.... and got to work on different transfer techniques... all trial and error...


I think by the time we get the photos, art and sculpture together, we'll be able to put out our book!

My idea is to have a show at a gallery to release the book and art.... Maybe even in a few cities... like Oklahoma City, Dallas, Midland, Austin, Marfa... or more or less... But I think it would be a great idea...

We'll have to look for galleries... or space to exhibit... or if anyone knows of one, lemme know... even though it won't be ready til at LEAST next spring, it doesn't hurt to start thinking about it now...

yay!

If skunks could knit cellphone socks.... ?

You know what I can't stand?!? SKUNKS!

To Pepe and all his friends: You STINK!!!

My adventures being alone at the lakehouse on LBJ for two days:

I thought it would be relaxing.... I bought a Klutz book on knitting... Klutz is the same brand of book that does the really awesome shrinky dink jewelry book... (side note: if you wanna see how awesome, check out Sara's awesome shrinky dink jewelry on etsy.com: CLICK HERE)

With my knitting kit and book in hand, I really had visions of Christmas presents for friends and family.... the scarf, the hat.... the cell phone sock (that's what they call it in the book).... maybe, even a dog sweater... (that may have been a tad bit ambitious)...

The first thing the book tells you to do, is to take the yarn, and roll it into a ball.... sounds easy. Right? WRONG! My yarn was all tangled.. even though I followed the instructions.... After two hours (or so) of rolling yarn... and untangling, I finally decided that a smaller yarn ball would do just fine, and I cut the impossibly tangled part off....

So I had my yarn ball... next was the "slip not" and the first part of knitting.... yeah: I suck at knitting... and, instead of feeling relaxed, I wanted to stab something or someone with a knitting needle....

First of all, I'm not good at reading instructions and comprehending them... I have to do it on my own... learn the hard way. Or just have someone there to show me...

So I've been trying to knit for two days.. and I got nuthin' .... sorry guys: no cell phone socks for you....

The next night at the lakehouse, I was watching the Obama-McCain debate.... I decided that a better debate format would include them hugging each other for 9 mins after the "debate" part... and then, well... I was thinking a dance off! That would be awesome!

I never got to see if they did hug for 9 mins or not... I was eating Raman noodles (which have a strong odor) and all of a sudden I thought, "wow, these noodles smell FUNKY." But then, I recognized the smell: SKUNK!

I ran and shut the door to the porch... and went outside... Dylan was out there... looking bewildered and drooling... My thought is, Dylan just wanted to make friends and play with the skunk and the skunk had other ideas.... like stinky ideas.

I washed Dyl with baking soda and dishwashing soap... and he smells much better... but I still smell skunk everywhere... the inside of my car smells skunky... my keys smell skunky... every now and then I get a wiff of skunk. UGH! I had to throw away his collar and buy a new one... but the skunk smell won't leave.

This is the second time I've been skunked in the last few months... why?!

Here's Dyl, in the old collar, doing doggie yoga on Emily and Tyler's couch... BEFORE the skunking: