bad egg

last night I burned water... and eggs.

I was going to hard boil a few eggs. I put the eggs and water on the stove to boil and then I started to paint...

Drawing patterns and going over patterns is very meditative for me... I started drawing and getting really into it.... so into it that after I was done with the patterns on one painting, I picked up another and did the same thing...

I'm not really sure how many hours had gone by when I heard an explosion in the kitchen... The explosion was the eggs popping open... the yokes popped completely out! There was no water left in the pot... just really stinky burned eggs. Yuck!

The good part of the story is that I am REALLY happy with the way one of the pieces turned out... I tried a new technique and like it so much, I think I may continue to use it.

Here are the two pieces I worked on last night: (they are both 2'x2' on wood) .... and once again they are for my upcoming show at the Magnolia Gallery (inside the Magnolia Theater) in Dallas, August 20th- Sept. 23rd.



and I've posted this one before- but I finished the background last night.

screw up

My new favorite album to paint to, that I forgot I bought on iTunes in January, and forgot to listen to: Nouvelle Vague
My new favorite not-new-cover song that I'm listening to over and over again tonight: Making Plans for Nigel by Nouvelle Vague


Sometimes I get scared.

I get scared to put a mark down with paint. I get scared to screw it up. I get so scared that I never even try.

I used to start drawing by closing my eyes and scribbling on paper, and then open them and make something out of the scribble. It always turned out well.... I just went with the flow and worked with the scribble instead of fighting against it. I always knew that if something didn't look right, I could keep working with it until it finally took form.

I've lost that attitude. I need to get it back.

I haven't been happy with these 4 new paintings. They're boring me. They look like something I'd see in a hotel or something. I'm getting bored with them before i finish them...

Something has been keeping me from moving forward... I think I'm too scared to screw them up. Also, I'm being timed... I have to have a certain number of paintings done by a certain date.

So, tonight, I decided I would screw up my paintings a bit... and then work with them.

But that's WAY easier said than done....

But I did add a squiggly background on the hawk.... (I just barely added color to the bird in this one... so it's not even close to looking how it will look.)


This is a close-up

Don't call it a comeback!

I'm baaack!

The last several months I've been working on life-stuff, rather than art-stuff...

I started this blog so everyone would know where I was... and what I was doing. But, after a certain point, I decided that I don't always want everyone to know everything. My private life has to stay private... So, now I'm back. And we'll see what happens now...

I'm in Austin, and at the end of August, I'm having my first SOLO show in Dallas at the Magnolia Gallery. I have some older pieces that I may put in the show, but I REALLY want to get some new paintings done and up. I've decided to paint birds in flight... (maybe because I've been moving so much... hmmm?? or things are changing so fast??)

I went to Home Depot and bought 6 2ftx2ft pieces of wood, and I set up a studio in the corner of the room (and I've already turned it into a mess).



I thought getting to work would be much easier... but I'm in my 6th month of pregnancy and it's getting harder and harder to move around like I'm used to. Sitting on the floor is something I can only do in small increments... and overall, I'm just not as graceful as I used to be... not that I was really "graceful" before... but now I'm really clumsy and awkward... and make a lot of grunting noises when I move.. and my hips hurt and back hurts... and .... okay.... I'll stop now.

I've had to use much more Gesso on these boards than I have in the past. My idea is to do one bird on each... so far, this is what I've got:





Not much to look at... just the background colors and a couple of sketches. But at least I'm back and working again... I haven't got into my flow yet... but I feel it coming!

Here's something else that is really cool!

A cicada, coming out of its shell on our porch! I've seen a lot of cicadas (the plague in NC last summer), but never watched one hatch...

Yesterday

Everything at The Gypsy Wagon went well yesterday. After so much freaking out, I woke up yesterday morning and finally chilled out. I had a lot to do... Go pick up prints and scans from Thomas Reprographics and prints at the other printing place... But, I finally let go of how I expected things to go... and just let things happen...

And everything went great!

Thank you so much to everyone who came out! It was so good to see everyone!

I sold a few prints... We left my work up for today... and I'll pick up some of it to bring back to Midland with me tomorrow.

Here's a piece that got a good response from, that I haven't posted on my blog before (or at least not in a long time)


Thanks so much to Carley, Johnny, Lauren and everyone else who helped and came out.

:)

I was SOOO tired last night... I was trying to make it to the Granada Theater last night... but I was so tired, I could barely stand... I came back to Sara's and slept for 15 hours... and it felt GOOD!

hello.... goodnight

My mind is going crazy.... I'm tired but cant sleep...

I hope I have everything together for Friday... I didn't paint today... I picked up my prints and bought some frames and worked to put some of the finishing touches on a few pieces... I still have more to do..

It's not that it's a big show... it's gonna be very laid back, just more of a preview and meet and greet... but, I'm trying to get so much done.... because after this weekend I start to look for a place to live and a job of some sort in Austin.

I also have my first solo show at the Magnolia Gallery in Dallas this summer! YAY!

so, I'd like to have some work finished for that show... because after I move (and I'm working and getting settled and adjusted and all of that fun stuff), I don't know where I'll be able to paint.... I'm thinking too far ahead.... Sometimes I've gotta just pull myself back into the present...

okay... back.

We have a new president!!! America just became a much cooler country!

Alright, goodnight!

Moth balls? no....

My mom and I went and saw Bride Wars today... as she said, "It was no Gran Torino" .... unfortunately, I haven't seen Gran Torino yet... so, I can't compare, but can only imagine...

Actually, the main reason we went to go see Bride Wars was our friend Michael Arden is in it! He's great (as always)... and plays Kate Hudson's assistant/Mr. of Honor....

After that, it was time for business... <:o)E

I did a little work on the chandelier piece... it seemed like it lacked definition and outline towards the top of the piece... and I also just worked on the moth... but the change is SO slight, that even if I were to point it out, I'm not sure anyone (except for me) would be able to see it.

I did take the Girl with the hood.... (orange hood... green background...) ... remember how attached to her I was?!

Yeah, Well.... i painted the whole thing read and orange and purple!

I felt so much better once I painted over her!

I really like the moth painting.. and I like what moths personally symbolize to me.... Part of that is: searching for a light in the darkness....

That means a lot to me... searching... seeking... wanting to find the light... the strength... all of that has been part of my "new life" in the last year...

I thought i may do a moth series... (there are SOOO many GORGEOUS moths!) ... i still love moths SO much more than butterflies...

butterflies? ... *yawn*...

I bought a book in Austin at a thrift store on Lamar (not Salvation Army... but similar)... and I took the book and cut out hexagons to stick on the wood board (with matte medium) and then I painted the moth... simple... but it takes a LONG time



This piece has a WAYS to go... I want to make the bottom wings larger.... and look more like owl eyes... (that's what I think they look like...)


Okay.... so tomorrow (today)... Barak Obama is our new President! it's a new day! and I'll be working on the same moth from yesterday... but that's okay.... hey, that rhymes!

PPS... I still have NOT found a way to frame and hang this piece....



there's more...

C'mon Iwanna Leiya (Kauai Bound....)

I haven't blogged in a while... (obviously).... I've been traveling again, ever since I left Dallas... and it's hard to write when I'm not on a schedule.... even if it's a half-ass schedule...

Somethings I have a hard time doing:

-talking on the phone in front of people (it doesn't matter if I know them well, or not)

-blogging in front of people (it's even hard for me to blog at a coffee shop....)

-shopping and purchasing things in front of people (only people I know)... this is a new one and I cannot explain it...

I had a great time in Austin, I hung out with friends, went to the coolest new hangout in Austin (Shangri-La), brought Christmas cheer to Scrooge's place (ha ha.. only half-kidding.... and yes, the ornaments I brought are filled with poison!) :) , played Cranium and lost... and I even cheated a bit... honestly and loudly cheated... but still, we lost.... I saw the movie Slumdog Millionaire, which I really liked! It's by Danny Boyle.... he did Trainspotting.... and one of my favorite movies: Millions (it's soooo good!).... he must have a thing for trains, because there are a lot in every movie....



So, now I'm back in Midland, texas... I'm doing laundry and over-thinking my packing, for my trip to Kauai.... I think I may just throw stuff in a suitcase... I can always buy stuff there....

My Hawaii diet changed from a "diet" to just eating less... i'm not as fab as I'd like to magically make myself be.... but, I think I have lost some weight....

Tomorrow I fly to dallas.... and then I fly out of dallas on Tuesday with Bek.... to paradise.... who knows... I may never wanna leave.

I'm gonna try to write everyday that I'm there... as long as I can find internet access and quiet hermit-blogger time...

and... I'm gonna buy a new camera.... so I'll be able to post more pics.

TNLC "bitchin'" party!

So, I made the rounds in Dallas (as much as I could...) Tried to see as many people as possible, but I never have enough time... at least it seems. I also don't have time to blog... not so much that I don't have "time" but my brain is constantly organizing and planning what I'm doing next.... who I'm gonna see next, where I'm gonna go next, what I need to do and have to do... and would like to do.... so, my brain doesn't calm down enough for me to be able to focus enough to write....



Last night was the Tuesday Night Ladies Club white elephant gift and ornament exchange.... There were more girls this year... more hilarious gifts.... Let's see.... One of the most stolen gifts was a gnome, two glasses (with funny sayings on them) and a shrinky dink necklace, Sara brought that, and I stole it! HA! So, now I have the Gnome, and it has a fabulous new home at Shangri La in Austin!


Another Hi-LAR-I-OUS gift was a Twilight t-shirt with my brother on it.... HA! a character shirt of "Jasper".... which was also stolen... and coveted... too funny!


Cris brought a "bitchin'" jacket.... when she bought it, the guy at the thrift store asked if her friends had a sense of humor, and after she told him about the vagina coloring book (that was a gift last year), he said.... "yes, they must" ... and then he described the jacket as bitchin'..... after I saw it, there was NO other word I could think to describe it! Kim ended up with it....


Cris got the Urbandictionary.com 2009 calendar that I brought... which is perfect for her... maybe it'll help her understand and talk to her 7th and 8th grade students.

Sara and I did our customary stupid party pics.... of course....


And this one was taken at a party last March... (you can see we do this regularly! ... ha!)


Much much fun! So glad I could see everyone!

I'm in Austin now.... Need to clear my head... and start shopping and getting back to writing... and ready for my trip... I'll post more later!

Art Conspiracy (feed the artist for tuppence a day)

I'll be painting for Art Conspiracy tomorrow morning.... I don't know what... but I feel okay about it now......

here's the info:


6:30 p.m. on SATURDAY DECEMBER 6th
location: 3011 Gulden Lane, Dallas, TX 75212 | MAP
artists: 150 Dallas Artists
bands:
MOUNT RIGHTEOUS, CHAMELEON CHAMBER,ATON

door: $ 10
benefiting: Preservation LINK, Inc


So, dyl and I are in dallas... and I remembered this (something old, something new) and steve sent it to me a month or so ago.... but it's poignant, (due to the economic times and the banking industry today... seriously.... i'd rather feed the birds for tuppence a day.... than invest in fidelity fiduciary bank!)



My phone has been acting up .... A LOT.... i'm scared it's gonna crash.... it's my blackberry pearl.... it keeps showing the hourglass "thinking" icon.... and it's shut off, by itself twice now.... ugh! my trip is not only to Dallas, but to Verizon.... and the Apple store too (for my laptops cd drive... that will not play anything....)


tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a day!

getting going again

I decided to put this at the top, rather than the bottom of my blog.... just to mix it up! :o)

It seems like every year, after Thanksgiving, time starts to go at a mind-blowing pace... soon it's Christmas... then New Year's .... not to mention the tons of birthdays in-between (all you Sags and Caps!)... and in one month, it'll be 2009.... time to re-evaluate from where I was last year... time to plan where I hope to be next year... It's the only time of year that I really wish I had an extra month... a month of preparation? maybe...

Today, I was feeling better... the first day I've been able to get out of bed, and for the most part, stay out of bed. My head cold or allergies have beaten me... or had beaten me... until today.

I made time to go to my studio today...

I'm going to Dallas, and will be painting in Art Conspiracy 4 this year.... It always makes me nervous. All of the artists are given an 18x18 piece of plywood, and we have only a few hours to paint on it.... then, Dec. 6th, they are auctioned off for charity... last year was a lot of fun... but I was nervous then too.

Today I started going over, what should I paint? should I start painting now? Should I just plan? and then the SMART voice inside my head told me, stop preparing and just do what you can do today.... So... I listened...

I thought if I did a sketch of a painting or two, that maybe I'd be a little more confident when it came time for Friday's Paint-a-thon....

So, I started off with this little owl.... he's just a 5x7 acrylic on cardboard...




Then I moved on to the 24x24 piece of wood that I painted green... and I started painting the girl in the red hood (now it's an orange hood)...


I'm still working on getting the bones of it down, so that I can actually paint it.... one thing I decided today... I'd much rather work on a primed board.... The paint goes on so much smoother... Like I said, these are just the beginning stages... I've got a lot more work to do on her...


Another thing... I'm going to Hawaii with my friend Bek! Yes, we leave the 16th and get back the 23rd.... so, I guess, I'm definitely on the road again.

Love,
r

Snakes on a plane... (not the movie; the aggravation)

Not really snakes... more like "freaks on a plane," but that sounds mean... so I'm just gonna say, "annoyance on a plane..." ... well... whatever.... I'll get to that part of my story later...

So, yesterday, I'm driving to Starbucks in my rented yellow VW bug... and I'm searching through my purse... and then I felt something, flat and plastic... something that I hadn't felt before in my purse... So, I pulled it out.... and what was it? A CA (cocaine anonymous) 60 days of sobriety keychain!!!!

My head said: WHAT?!? NO WAY?!?

My eyes said: WAY!

Where did it come from? I have NO idea. and NO, it's not mine!

I knew someone put it in my purse (the purse I bought just before NC and the only one I've used since then...). So, I called the "usual suspects"; the people most likely to have pulled a prank like that... They all laughed so hard; I knew it couldn't have been them... I have no clue where it's from... but still, it's really funny.

So now I have a 60-days of sobriety from cocaine keychain... I'm not using it.. but I am keeping it!

After finding that little "present" I said goodbye to Cas, Andrew and Gwen and left for the airport...

I made my flight.... on time. When I was boarding, the airline employee at the gate scanned my ticket and asked, "Just you?"
"Just me," I responded and then thought about it: just me? wow, I've never been asked that while boarding before... It made me feel really lonely all of a sudden...

I felt a little less lonely when I noticed that the airplane didn't have a 13th row... and then started to wonder if all airplanes had row numbers 12 and 14, but no 13.... hmmm?

But then I sat down in my seat... and remembered the "Just you?" question....

Usually, I buy interesting, (or trashy) magazines for the plane... that's the only time that I buy magazines... I never talk to my seatmates..... and I try to make it obvious my looking more engrossed in the magazine than I really am....

But after the "Just you?" ... I decided I'd try, and would actually talk a little bit to whoever sat next to me... Then he sat next to me.... a young, post-teen, asian american, with a mohawk and acne.... I made the normal chit chat you normally do on the plane: "Are you from Dallas?" ... he was... and we had a conversation for a few minutes, and then I took out my Psychology Today magazine, with confidence that he'd take the hint.....

MISTAKE! He wouldn't stop talking to me. On the flight from Orlando to Dallas, he talked the entire time... would ask me what I was reading, making comments about what I was reading over my shoulder... I wanted to say, "Don't you have an iPod or something to listen to???" but I didn't... instead I gave him my other magazine and said, "Why don't you read this?" But it was more of a command than a question.

He said he didn't like to read... just pictures.... UGH! I was starting to really want a cigarette... and for him to be quiet...

Then he got a headache... which he told me about countless times... At this point, I was obviously annoyed when he'd interrupt .. but he didn't get the hint... at all. I pretended to sleep.... but he kept talking... I had the magazine blocking his view from my face.... still talking....

Finally, 20 mins before the flight landed, all of a sudden he got quiet, and asked: "So, like, can I get your number?"

SERIOUSLY!?!??!?!

Without hesitation... AT ALL, I snapped: "NO!"

Finally, he shut-up (yay!) and was quiet for the rest of the time... he didn't try to talk to me again... not even once!

Usually I'd feel bad.... and honestly, if he'd asked me earlier in the flight, I'd probably have been nice and given him my Myspace... or a fake number... but, at that point.... I was about to smack him... so, I don't feel bad. Really... I don't; NOT AT ALL!

Will I ever try to talk to someone on the plane again? Probably not... I really look forward to my magazine indulgence.

Yet, another reason I prefer to drive!

Grounded! (and not because of Fay)

SOOOOOO:
This morning I woke up EARLY! My flight to Orlando was at 7:45 on AirTran... even with Tropical Storm Fay... my flight said it was on time. So, I left the Albrecht's at 6:30... everything was great... traffic was moving and grooving...

.. and then, the over night work crew on 635 hadn't opened the two lanes they blocked off... the flashing road work sign said the lanes would be closed until 6 am... LIARS! It was bumper to bumper... for a WHILE. Then I kept calling Air Tran to find out which terminal Air Tran is in... but they would only tell me the flight time, and number, and that it was on time... and when I tried to speak to an agent... the automated voice said, "We are experiencing technical difficulties. Goodbye."

UGH! I could NOT get a real person or even a fake one to tell me which terminal... So I had to drive through all of them... starting at A... AirTran (if anyone is interested) is E.... so I zig-zagged through terminals A, B, C, D before I finally got to E.

By then I knew I was cutting it close... but I still had 30 mins as I parked and ran towards the check-in counter... only to realize I had left my cell phone in the car... so I had to run back and get it. Then I hauled ass over to the check-in counter, no one was in line (probably because of the storm in Fla).. but they still made me check in at the machine first.... which told me to go to the counter (still no line), but the agent was having an obviously important (that is sarcastic) conversation with the other agent, even though I was obviously freaking out... I was all sweaty and out of breath from running... then I hear "Final call for flight 111 to Orlando".... I RUDELY interrupted and said, "that's my flight!" The woman at the ticket counter said, "well, you missed it." I coulda run... I woulda run... and made it... my fate of making or missing my flight was all in the hands of this one woman... and in an annoyed voice, she said again, "No. You missed it."

This was at 7:30.... My flight was at 7:42. That was close... but too close to make it!??! I got NO slack and I missed my flight. Seriously?????

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHG!!!!!@!@!RE##T#%#@%@!@#$%*()

So, now I'm on standby... freezing my butt-off (the AC has gotta be set at 60 degrees or lower), waiting for a 9:45 flight to Atlanta and then from Atlanta to Orlando... If everything goes well I should be there by 2:45pm. But the news keeps talking about tropical storm Fay.... how bad it is.... but the other flight was on time... who knows....

... i still can't believe I missed my flight...

I hate flying... not because of planes... but because of all of the people you have to deal with and airlines.. and airports... I'd much rather drive. seriously...

Coulda Shoulda Woulda

Dylan with a dinosaur...

Yesterday, I was interviewed for a episode on the Veria network (veria.com), for their series, "The Art of Living Gallery" show... I had so much to do to prepare. I had to pick up some of my prints from The Gypsy Wagon, and get ready (I was told not to wear patterns... and "jewel tones" work best on camera), and go by my storage unit... drop off Dylan, go down to the Bowmans' studio and get all of my work (new and old) out to display...

It's hard having my stuff spread out... some in storage, some at friends houses, some at studios, most in my car... I would like one place where I can keep everything... hopefully that's what Lockhart will be for me this fall...

The crew who interviewed and filmed me were very nice. I was feeling like I was scattered and spread way too thin... I made and had to break plans with so many people while I was in Dallas... Really, if it weren't for this show that I had committed to, I wouldn't have gone back to Dallas at all before Orlando. I wish I was more in a "zen" state of mind... I crammed in some self-help CD and listened to how to be present and live in the moment, while I ran around town like a headless chicken.... At least it was a good attempt to get my head in the right place.

I felt like I rambled and rambled.. I hope I said somethings that sounded intelligent... I need to stop thinking about what I "coulda woulda shoulda" said... it's done with... it's up to them to make me sound okay.

I also haven't talked about the night that Carter died in what seems like a long time... maybe it hasn't been that long... but it felt like it... after everything, I was physically and emotionally exhausted.... I had to take a long nap.... and I had to break more plans.

I'm sorry to everyone who I made plans with and had to cancel. I really spread myself so thin in Dallas this time. But I'll be back next week... and after that I'll be in Lockhart, and back and forth to Dallas...

lost it, found it

I drove into Dallas last night... It's been raining here.... I'm glad. I was not looking forward to coming home to the heat... and so far, it hasn't been hot at all.... humid and rainy... but I can totally do that!

I had a lot to do today... i'm about to leave for Orlando early Friday morning... and tomorrow I have the shoot for "The Art of Living Gallery" show on the Veria network. I had to figure out where they could film... Since I don't have a home and I'm living out of my car and storage unit, it makes finding a spot to film trickier.

My friends, the Bowmans, have a studio (Bowman Glass) in Dallas... I called them and well do it there. But they want to film my work and me talking about it... My originals before NC, have all sold, which is awesome, but now I have to find stuff for the show!
They also want to film me working on a piece... I may use one of my encaustics... like the owl... I'll go buy a griddle tomorrow morning... or maybe I should work on finishing the "Fitting In" piece (which is the lady with antlers)... But that piece is collage.. and I'm not sure how cool that would look, just cutting and pasting... I think encaustic will be better... or acrylic.

And I need to go to storage and dig up some of the bird drawings I did last year... and the first thing I did after Carter died... I didn't think about it at all... it just came out of me...

I know they're somewhere in storage...

I had so much on my mind.... and felt stressed and overwhelmed.... I started losing stuff... I lost my phone for several hours, the key to Sara's house, my keys (well, I lose those daily)... I just kept mis-placing EVERYTHING! And that was stressing me out even more.

I went to JoAnne's Fabric and Craft supply store... I bought a quilting iron with attachments (for encaustics)....

I really just wanted to rest all day... or maybe it was escaping.... not sure.



Dylan and I drove up to Plano, to visit and stay at Carter's parents. It is so good to see them... Dylan thought so too. As soon as we pulled up to their house, he was crying to get out of the car and say hi.

I'm sure tomorrow's TV thing will be fine... I just don't want to look like an idiot. :0)

This two member pack is finally back together:


Oh! My mysterious friend, "A" sent me the funniest youtube video today... I forwarded out through email... but it was so funny I thought I'd post it on here: (Thanks A!)... seriously.... I think I peed a little:

12 hrs in big D

(ladies room ad in Memphis)


I had a wonderful time in Memphis! Dave and Paul performed at TN Comedy... it was a Thursday night (ladies night!) and a small crowd... but considering the size of the crowd, I think they got a good response... but I'm not a comedian, and shouldn't say anything... but i thought their sets were hilarious... so, THERE!

Afterwards I went out with Paul, and a couple (both locals and both comedians).... I had a really great time... One thing I didn't realize about Memphis was how segregated it is... The bar we went to, is in the same building as another bar... the entrance doors have only a few feet or less between them.... the bar we were in, was the "hipster" (forgive me if that's the wrong term, I'm sooo not down with the lingo, and only pretend to be cool... most of the time), the bar next door would have been categorized by tobacco companies as a "menthol" account. But it was also a tranny bar.... I went to check it out with the girl I was hanging out with... i was shocked... i couldn't believe these two venues were both full... and completely different worlds! I'm not sure if I've seen anything like that before.

This morning before I left Memphis, I talked to DL for a while.... I was so nervous about returning to TX... nauseous, even... but I was grouping every hurtful memory in one lump sum, rather than just looking at each event separately... which wouldn't have been bad at all if the circumstances were different... So, I was able to re-center myself (as much as possible) and drive to Dallas....

This pic is from the same ladies room... it also sums up what my motivational book on CD has taught me NOT to say to myself:

I wasn't sure if I was going to stay the night or not... I kinda just planned on breezing through and dropping stuff off at my storage unit... but I got caught in traffic on 40... in Memphis... bad traffic... 4-miles-in-2-hours bad. I also didn't want to make a big deal of my visit... because it's not a visit... it's a layover... there are so many people I want to see... and I didn't even get a chance to let some of the most important people, on my "want to see" list, know... I just need more time... or a clone... so I can be two places at once... or, better yet... a clone of me, who LIKES to talk on the phone... yes... I need a phone-clone.

So, I called last minute and stayed last minute here in Dallas.... I got in LATE.... I'll leave early for Midland... I got to see the Slack play at Barley... At first I was overwhelmed, and it felt noisy and crowded like Vegas (I've been in the mountains for 4 months...)... but I was so glad to see my dear friends. I missed them... a lot... I've cried a lot the last few days... but these were good tears...

I really was touched by the love and support I received tonight... I really am so blessed to have those wonderful friends... thank you (you know who you are)....

I cried some more and laughed some more... I felt love instead of judgement... the majority of the "judgement" has been ryann-on-ryann crime. Not anymore... at least I'll try my best...

love.
r