Ahhhhh.... much better...

YAY!

i've finally gotten into the "flow" and I'm making stuff that I LIKE and finishing it! wow.... it's been a long time... or at least it feels like it's been a long time since I've done that...

Today, I put the encaustics, wax and collage stuff away, and broke out the acrylic paints.... good ol' trusty acrylics....

And i finished the chandelier:


(I think it looks better in real life than this pic... but that's just my opinion)

and, on the piece that I collaged the hexagon dress patterns, I decided I wanted a moth... (I've had a love for moths since this summer in North Carolina... I like them so much better than butterflies...)... not just any moth, but one of the silk worm moths... so using these "mothels" (okay... bad joke...).... I used these moths to model my moth after:


And this is what it looked like in process:


I still have more work to do.... I'm trying to keep it somewhat transparent... using very watered down paints... but I also want it to be bright... it could take a while:


Both pieces are about 24"x24"..... so i'm also glad that I have work that's larger than I usually do...

I also am high on the feeling of accomplishment (meaning: actually finishing a piece that I like).....

And i like both pieces.... and I like them enough to where I don't really care if I'm the only person in the world who likes them... (of course I want other people to like them), but they say what I want them to say... and mean something to me... and I like them... and that feels fantastic!



I watched the first American Idol tonight... I love that show!


Another show I love is the Daily Show... This episode (before "super tuesday" in 2000) is appropriate, for several reasons:

a. this is before Bush became President... and right now he's about to become a former President

b. This is about Midland (where I am now)

c. This is about Cooties... and unless you're vaccinated (circle circle dot dot)... you may be infected ... although boys are at a higher risk for cooties than girls are....

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Cootie Scandal

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

love/hate

I did some more collaging... I really LOVE wax... but I'm really and TRULY starting to HATE wax... so sticky..... too gratifying, too instantly.... too sticky... too messy... too much fun... too easy.... too hard... too time consuming... too cloudy.... uh! love/hate.

The printing place called me... they printed a test strip of a small collage I did in December... It looked good.

They also showed me the scans, they also looked good...

I'm looking forward to seeing what it all looks like... when it's done...

I don't feel like writing much.... so I'll post pics of what I've done, what I'm working on... I'm not %100 happy with my work right now... but, I'm very happy that I'm making work....

So, with that said:

Here are the red trees:



and a close up of each:



So, i added the moon cycle.... but now, I wanna just keep the background of this piece and start over... I doubt it though.... but, I do think this is the MAJOR issue when you become so attached to one part of a piece that you can't let go enough to let it become the best it can:


This is just an idea... i printed out some images (on tissue paper, so everything but the ink will disappear....


A very encaustic background (done the same way the owl from a while ago was done)...


now I'm trying to figure out what to do with it/put on it... here are some of my ideas:




I added a TON of medium to the clover collage background... now I can carve into it and collage on it...


And, last, I transferred this pattern to board.... but I'm still working on taking the paper off of the back... that always takes SOOO long!


My horseback riding lesson was cancelled today... the wind chill here in Midland didn't get above 30 degrees... I was kinda glad it was cancelled.... I wasn't looking forward to freezing my butt off!

okie dokie.... about to fall asleep typing... g'nite!

Learning marketing, the cyber-savvy way

I thought I knew marketing... I thought I knew networking.... I thought I understood the online world of both.... Then, today, I met Damien Franco... His blog is www.yourphototips.com... and he totally schooled me!

I wish I'd had taken notes the whole time... I learned so much from him... from Flickr groups, to tags, to linking to someone's site so that they link back to yours... So much information that my head is still spinning! I was basically in awe, sitting there like, "teach me your ways, wise one." Thank you so much Damien! I'm looking forward to meeting up with him and his wife this weekend!

I'm tired or I'd have checked out some of the web sites he referred me to... and would write a lot more... but, (like I said) I'm tired... so I will later...

I did check out Blurb.com today... I'm gonna try to put a portfolio/book together... but my scans aren't ready yet... hopefully they'll be done tomorrow.

I did go to Hobby Lobby and buy some more stuff to collage with... even though it's really cool stuff, I kinda wanna kick myself for adding more options for me to use... I should just work with the stuff I already have... But the new stuff is SOOO cool! And on SALE!
I bought this bag of fall stuff, with leaves:


and Squirrels! SQUIRRELS!


The leaves may or may not go on that piece... the squirrels definitely won't ... I just wanted to check out all of the fun new crap I bought!

I also moved the moth and doily aside and tried this on the clover background:


And I bought WHITE india ink! I wanted to use it to brighten up that collage piece that has been fighting me.... and it worked... except for I accidentally put too much on the angel's face and erased it's features. I'll have to go back in and fix that:


A lot of just trial and error... and moving things around...

Oh! and I've had these gold frames for a while... (two of them) and in the same bag with the squirrels and leaves there were two trees.. Just an idea:


Okay... I'm really tired... going riding again tomorrow... and then I'm going to checkout all the websites and info I learned... Maybe I'll even start to use Flickr the right way!

My not-so-"elegant" creative process

I stayed up too late last night... My time schedule is OFF...

I wish I was a morning person... I've always wanted to be a morning person... but I'm not. I've never been one. Actually, I've been known to be such an awful morning (or just waking up) person, that my siblings won't even try to wake me up...

I'm a night person... I'm more creative at night... I work better in the late afternoon and on... I don't know why... It's just how I am.

I went horseback riding this afternoon... luckily, I wasn't the only one who was out-of-shape... The horse I rode, Molly, had been taking it easy over the holidays too... We were quite a pair.... lazy horse meets out-of-shape rider (me).... I'm going again on Thursday... maybe we'll both be better by then.

I took 7 of my new paintings to Reynolds Brothers (a reprographics place in Midland), they were very nice.... I'm having one of each piece printed on canvas... I'm not sure how the encaustics are going to look printed... but I can always paint on the canvas too.

Then I did a little shopping: vellum, india ink (which works on wax- much better than black acrylic paint), iron-on paper for t-shirts (I can put the sheets in my printer)..... I'm not sure if the iron-ons will work when I try to iron them on wax... but it can't hurt to try... I also bought some fantastic new colors of Sharpies that I've never seen before!

I'm a little sad that I'm so excited that Sharpie has new colors, like Pomegranate and Earl Grey... but I'm very excited!

Then I went home and went to work.... I mainly worked on that one collage that I couldn't stand yesterday..... after many different tries with different ideas, this is what it looks like now:


There is too much of the wax medium on it... so it looks cloudy in places... and I'm going to add white in areas to brighten it up.... but i'm starting to like it a lot better.

I pretty much only worked on that piece...

But I moved the moth (that I love SO much) around some more. I also seem to really like that doily too... I don't know why though, I think it's ugly. Maybe the moth likes it!.... the chandelier, doily and the moth are just placed on this background... It's how I try an idea before I commit to putting them on the background... I like to move stuff around to see what it could look like:



and then I played with this piece a bit too... I LOVE the background and the tree (I maybe a little too attached to them), but I placed a sparrow drawing I did last year, and a butterfly on it...



and then I thought, it might be cool to do something with the moon cycle.... I'd cut out the moons, of course.....



That's how I work... I place things, and then stare at them forever, then change my mind... and then place something else and stare at it, and then change my mind.... i wish I had a more "elegant" technique... but, alas.... i don't....

I'm working on moving to Austin... more opportunities for me there... and it's close to Dallas, still close to family, and I have friends there... After I get all this stuff done for The Gypsy Wagon show on the 23rd, I'll work on it more... but I did send out my resume today... I want to write... or get back in contract work and field marketing for a bit, so I can still work on my art and writing.

productivity and a new pink camera = happiness!

I was so productive today!

I think, by letting some pressure out of my head, and into my planner, and blog, and journal, I feel sooo much better!

One thing I did that makes me REALLY happy: I returned that Canon-Elph-whatever-crap camera and bought a Sony Cybershot! It was the second time I've been to BestBuy and tried to return it... they all remembered me. They asked me what was wrong with it... I told them "everything! I hate everything about it!"... of course they were shocked... (news to me but:) It seems that NO ONE (except me) hates Canons... They said it was my fault... It could be, I'm not good at following directions... or reading them... but I exchanged it anyway... and I love my new camera! The pics I've taken look awesome! plus it's pink! Who doesn't love a pink camera?!?

I found a reprographics place in Midland (Reynolds Brothers) ... I talked to them on the phone and I'm gonna go and check it out tomorrow...

I also bought a griddle and a small blow torch..... as well as some paraffin wax.... So, I'm back to encaustic painting... for real!
Paraffin wax cleans the colored wax off of brushes... but I've also noticed that it thins the medium even more, making the wax more like paint... and it's good for delicate things like leaves and butterfly wings, without making them too waxy.... and cloudy...

I've even started to make my usual encaustic studio mess!


I also start riding horses again tomorrow... maybe I'll bring my new fancy camera and get some pics!

So, i pulled out all of the work that I think is done... and some of the stuff I'm still working on... and some that I shouldn't keep working on but can't help myself....

This little owl is on cardboard... he's about a 5x7... I'm gonna use him.. I like him more and more...


The background of this piece, I started before I left for North Carolina last May... I tried (and failed) to do some stuff with resin... but today, I added the other stuff on top.... It's not done... I'm not sure if I like it at all... Cas suggested that I add a moon... which I'll try tomorrow...


This was another "Bird and Key".... but it was bugging me... So I've been trying to get crafty with it... I found this moth... I LOVE this moth... and on this color background... the moth and doily are just placed on top.... not attached yet... just an option that I'm considering...


I've been working on this piece with the chandelier for a YEAR now... I added the black wash over the whole piece and have been staring at it for months... today, I painted the chandelier in a light wash of a bright red...


People who know me well, know that I can't stand being told what I can and can't do... It's not that I try to be rebellious... I just have to find out for myself... and a lot of the time, that means "the hard way".... well... In our encaustic class, I was told, "you can't paint acrylic over oil paint"... well... I had done that... It TOTALLY sucked and was REALLY difficult.... but I had done it (once)... We were also told, you can't paint acrylic over wax... well, today, I broke that rule and had to try it out... and so far so good... I'm really pleased with the result...

This is a painting I'd been working on for a while... I decided the heart needed a heart shape around it in string... then I added the flames/triangles/points around the right side... and then I used black acrylic paint *gasp!*, on the inside of the heart.... to make it pop a bit.... that worked so well, that I used the same paint on the bird in areas...

The only thing that is bugging me about this piece is the wax looks so cloudy... and dulls the black and the pattern... but overall I'm happy with it... and I'm glad I don't always believe what people tell me!


I'm not sure what people are going to think of my new work... it's different than what I was doing before.... much more collage, and experimentation... i may go back to acrylics at some point... they're predictable and easy to add on top of... but maybe I wont... But I think I will... at least more than I'm using them now...

getting going again

I decided to put this at the top, rather than the bottom of my blog.... just to mix it up! :o)

It seems like every year, after Thanksgiving, time starts to go at a mind-blowing pace... soon it's Christmas... then New Year's .... not to mention the tons of birthdays in-between (all you Sags and Caps!)... and in one month, it'll be 2009.... time to re-evaluate from where I was last year... time to plan where I hope to be next year... It's the only time of year that I really wish I had an extra month... a month of preparation? maybe...

Today, I was feeling better... the first day I've been able to get out of bed, and for the most part, stay out of bed. My head cold or allergies have beaten me... or had beaten me... until today.

I made time to go to my studio today...

I'm going to Dallas, and will be painting in Art Conspiracy 4 this year.... It always makes me nervous. All of the artists are given an 18x18 piece of plywood, and we have only a few hours to paint on it.... then, Dec. 6th, they are auctioned off for charity... last year was a lot of fun... but I was nervous then too.

Today I started going over, what should I paint? should I start painting now? Should I just plan? and then the SMART voice inside my head told me, stop preparing and just do what you can do today.... So... I listened...

I thought if I did a sketch of a painting or two, that maybe I'd be a little more confident when it came time for Friday's Paint-a-thon....

So, I started off with this little owl.... he's just a 5x7 acrylic on cardboard...




Then I moved on to the 24x24 piece of wood that I painted green... and I started painting the girl in the red hood (now it's an orange hood)...


I'm still working on getting the bones of it down, so that I can actually paint it.... one thing I decided today... I'd much rather work on a primed board.... The paint goes on so much smoother... Like I said, these are just the beginning stages... I've got a lot more work to do on her...


Another thing... I'm going to Hawaii with my friend Bek! Yes, we leave the 16th and get back the 23rd.... so, I guess, I'm definitely on the road again.

Love,
r

lost clothes in dream land...

The song "Somewhere over the Rainbow" has been stuck in my head all day.... I don't know why. I haven't heard that song in... well... I can't even recall when...

Today I went to the Polo club... I'm going to take riding lessons again... I used to ride english (jumping and some dressage) 14 yrs ago... and I was actually really good. I have a picture of me, somewhere, of me and the horse I was riding at the time jumping two pretty high jumps that were about 6 ft apart... I need to find that picture and scan it in. I'm really excited about it... I love riding horses!

today, I have no pandora, no urbandictionary.com words...

But I had a really strange dream last night. I only recognized two people in the dream, one was a girl I went to school with in Norway and haven't heard from since then.... and the other is a friend of mine now... But there were a lot of other people in the dream... those "dream friends".... you know them... they're always there (in dreams), but they don't exist in real life... at least I don't think so.

So we were at a party/music festival/rave... and then I was with one real friend sitting on a pool table... both of us were in costume... I had changed into a fancy 80's prom dress.... and then I wanted to change back into my normal clothes...

So, I asked around and no one knew where they were... except for one guy, who had a HUGE stretched out kleenex box on his shoulder... so, i asked him and he SCREAMED at me that he couldn't tell me because that would interrupt the band playing (he was doing the sound for the band with the box of kleenex's)... So, I left my friend and walked around looking for my clothes...

The music was really loud... it was a lot like a rave or something.. and then I found my friend (from Norway), she needed the dress back... So I had to take it off and give it to her... and then I walked around in my underwear (i wasn't all that embarrassed because I thought it covered as much as a bikini did...) but my panties were inside out... and I was embarrassed the tag was sticking out (weird...)... So I walked around the party... which turned out to be a Walmart too... and then walked back and found the first friend I was with... and he was in normal clothes...on the phone with his dad and working on his laptop... I said, "Where?!?" and he laughed and told me to check in the suitcases lined up against the wall... and that they (the suitcase owners) wouldn't mind...

Then I woke up... As random as it was, it was such a vivid dream, that I had to immediately text SOMEONE! later on, I realized that the dream wasn't as enlightening as I thought when I first woke up...

So... what does it mean??? I think, maybe, it could mean that I should go to Walmart and buy some new underwear.

today, i walked outside and found two small dead butterflies... and a nice big duck feather:

I also bought *gasp* OIL PAINTS! I have a hate-hate relationship with them... or i did... But if you paint with encaustic, then you really need oil paints... so I bought a cheap set ... and some turpentine...

So, I got back to work on the paper doll "disaster".. but not really... I'm starting to like it... i painted a bit with oils to bring out some color and then added wings on the girl:




Then I worked on the pattern even more... I keep not liking the colors I'm picking... So I keep going over it, again, and again, and again... I smeared the pink with a goldish-color... It doesn't look as crisp.... I'm liking it better. Here's a close up of the small pattern:



and when pandora froze up and wouldn't play anything for me, Dylan's snoring kept me company:



I was putting off blogging... (resistance), but maybe I'll be glad I did tomorrow.

Encaustic collage comes back, as another one (camera) bites the dust..

Why am I the kiss of death for digital cameras?!? Every time I buy one, something happens! This summer I lost one to "lens error", then tonight I tried to take pictures of my work but there is a huge black fuzzy dot in the middle! I tried to clean the lens.. but it's still there... ugh! What is it? Will it go away?



All of my pics below were taken off-centered, and cropped so the dot won't show...


The last two days here in Midland, I've fought my Resistance... and won... I need to stop judging the results though.

I've unpacked my stuff. It's not a hard thing to do, but it's been harder, because I haven't been really settled and unpacked anywhere since last year when C was killed... I've been a refugee of sorts... When i stayed at the house my parents rented for me in Dallas, i was unpacked... but not settled.... my mind wasn't settled...

I'm so used to living out of a suitcase now, it's kinda scary... and sad.

But, i unpacked. and organized (almost everything)

I've written in my journal for the second day in a row (I'm proud of myself for that), and I've blogged (also proud of myself), and I've tried to do some encaustic collage....

I'm trying to not judge what I do... and let it happen... but it's HARD!

Here's my process: I had masonite board that I coated in beeswax medium, and then I took a paper doll book (that I bought on the Big Bend trip), a sewing pattern for dresses.. some doilies, and tissue papers.... I used a quilting iron that I bought a few months ago and collaged on the pieces wax...

It started like this:



And then I decided to add the Indian Girl paper doll book:



and



Those pictures were taken with my cell, so the color is a bit different...

Then, today i decided to add more dress pattern and color in the dresses.... I'm not really happy with how this looks... it's too abstract for me... I may cut out the paper doll dresses.... I'm still working with this though:



I'm trying not to judge what I do... and just react to what I put down instead... Sometimes I stop myself, and say out loud, "thinking, judging, let go..."

I may let that project sit for a few days before I get back to it...

I've been somewhat of a hermit here so far (but for two days... does that even count?!?), I'm tired from all of the traveling... and I'm ready to get to work ... and make some work I'm happy with... i think I need to be a little bit of a recluse to tap back in to my connectedness and creativity flow. Does that just make me strange? probably.... but a lot of the great artists and writers were considered "strange". I know I'm not "normal"... and I'm finally making peace with that.

I'm fighting fear right now... fear of being an artist, or a writer... just fear of patience... maybe? fear of failure and fear of success... It makes me want to hide... but I can't. I KNOW something good will come... but I'm being tested. Damn that "Resistance!".

lost it, found it

I drove into Dallas last night... It's been raining here.... I'm glad. I was not looking forward to coming home to the heat... and so far, it hasn't been hot at all.... humid and rainy... but I can totally do that!

I had a lot to do today... i'm about to leave for Orlando early Friday morning... and tomorrow I have the shoot for "The Art of Living Gallery" show on the Veria network. I had to figure out where they could film... Since I don't have a home and I'm living out of my car and storage unit, it makes finding a spot to film trickier.

My friends, the Bowmans, have a studio (Bowman Glass) in Dallas... I called them and well do it there. But they want to film my work and me talking about it... My originals before NC, have all sold, which is awesome, but now I have to find stuff for the show!
They also want to film me working on a piece... I may use one of my encaustics... like the owl... I'll go buy a griddle tomorrow morning... or maybe I should work on finishing the "Fitting In" piece (which is the lady with antlers)... But that piece is collage.. and I'm not sure how cool that would look, just cutting and pasting... I think encaustic will be better... or acrylic.

And I need to go to storage and dig up some of the bird drawings I did last year... and the first thing I did after Carter died... I didn't think about it at all... it just came out of me...

I know they're somewhere in storage...

I had so much on my mind.... and felt stressed and overwhelmed.... I started losing stuff... I lost my phone for several hours, the key to Sara's house, my keys (well, I lose those daily)... I just kept mis-placing EVERYTHING! And that was stressing me out even more.

I went to JoAnne's Fabric and Craft supply store... I bought a quilting iron with attachments (for encaustics)....

I really just wanted to rest all day... or maybe it was escaping.... not sure.



Dylan and I drove up to Plano, to visit and stay at Carter's parents. It is so good to see them... Dylan thought so too. As soon as we pulled up to their house, he was crying to get out of the car and say hi.

I'm sure tomorrow's TV thing will be fine... I just don't want to look like an idiot. :0)

This two member pack is finally back together:


Oh! My mysterious friend, "A" sent me the funniest youtube video today... I forwarded out through email... but it was so funny I thought I'd post it on here: (Thanks A!)... seriously.... I think I peed a little:

Volunteered

I colored the cages on this piece a bit darker, then I copied Boggle scores on Xerox and transfered them with wax.. Then I spent several hours scraping the wax of the top... I just need to attach the charms to hang in front of the cage... The piece that went with this, has a chandelier hanging from the top.... I tried to collage on a paper that was plastic-y (is that a word?) and it melted.... the whole thing is a mess... I think I'll leave that one alone for a while.



This is the piece that I made... I covered wood with wax medium.... then added the paper with wax covering it... except for where the feather was... then I stenciled the orange on. The bottom bird is a xerox transfer, the top is the same image, but I cut it out and used wax to collage it on.

The last few days of class (when I was bad about blogging), I created a lot of work... or adjusted some of the other work... So I'll keep posting those images, until I run out.

Yesterday, when I was at the Penland Coffee House blogging, I ran into a woman who works for the school and I've seen around... During first session she asked me if I was Kelly's sister, she took a ceramics class when my sister was the T.A.. I didn't remember her name... All I remember is when she told me her name she said "and you'll remember (her last name... something-uckin), 'cause it rhymes with 'f*ckin'." And she's right... that's how I remember her name now. Anyways, she's herding up volunteers for the big auction... and she caught me.

So, I filled out the volunteer form... the bartending and Art Docent (whatever that is) positions were already full... So, I'll be food-prep and kitchen stuff... fun, fun. I have ZERO waiting tables experience (except for a brief 3 months as a cocktail waitress at an Austin bar), or bartending... and I don't like to touch other peoples food... I told the volunteer coordinator that I don't do mornings... so I have to be there by 9 am... not too early... but still early.

Maybe I should try to get out of it... or not...

Tomorrow I may go to Asheville... a girl in my class's dad is throwing a party... it sounds fun. I want to go.

I spent today finishing the book "Love is a Mix Tape" and hanging out with a girl from my encaustic class who was workstudy. I think I would have made more friends... and had a completely different Penland experience if I'd have done workstudy.. but I know they have to wake up early.... I don't do well before noon... ever. I like my Penland experience... it was different than most... but I've really enjoyed it... it's what I needed.

I haven't looked at my paintings in a couple of days... I like them much more now... There's something about walking into a studio with work you've been struggling with... and seeing other people's work come together, that can be stressful... now that I've stepped back, I appreciate my work a lot more...

my roomie is making eggplant Parmesan for dinner.. yum