Thursday, November 13, 2008

Soldiers vs. Hunchbacks

I had a good phone conversation tonight. (so, i DID end up blogging about this! heehee)

At one point I was told that I seem to be more about question marks than exclamation points... or ? vs !, or Soldiers vs. Hunchbacks... which I was told is an essay written by Alestier Crowley. (just so you know: I did find the essay online... and it was, just as I warned via text: "a little dry... about how to drive yourself crazy with philosophy." Very true... I skimmed it. So, I can't even say I really read it... )

I didn't take being a ? as a negative thing... but it made me wonder... is having more !!!!s better than ???s ? (another hunchback) I even took it as a complement! (and now a soldier.... notice the trend...)

It was a good question... and kept rolling around in my head... so here are my thoughts!:

I think exclamation points, are for moments: Yes! NO! A-ha! This! That! There! Question marks to me are more open... They don't have to be about asking questions for answers... but looking and examining... Exclamation points are black and white... where as question marks are the all of the shades of grey in between.

! are about me... or claims I stake... ? are about allowing and preparing for change, letting things happen, not exclaiming something as good or bad, but questioning the context, paradigm... being objective... like a good objective reporter who wants to know all sides. Being introspective... that's good!

The majority of my ?s aren't the kind that need answers, Im not looking for the future, or answers for it, I'm questioning what I'm thinking, feeling and doing: Is it working? Is it good? if not, what can I do to balance myself?

But I definitely agree that there needs to be both.... right?!?!?!? Maybe now they can live, no longer vs. each other, but in perfect Hunchback, Soldier harmony. Like ebony and ivory..... (okay... that was cheeeeeeesy). I don't like "hunchback" either... maybe a better name would be a curvy soldier...

Anyways....

So, I painted today... back to good ol' acrylics and patterns... It's kind of meditative for me to get into painting patterns... so I worked on it... ALL DAY... Not even close to being done:

Photobucket

I also tried www.pandora.com for the first time today. I love it! It's free radio, and you pick out the music you want to hear, and they play similar artists, and you get to say yes I like that... or no I don't... It's like creating your own radio station! Sha boing BOING (okay that's a throwback to urbandictionary.com which was yesterday...)

Today, I was starting to miss my friends.... and got a little bummed... but then I received a couple of texts, calls and emails... from friends because they were thinking about me! It made me feel good... loved... and not forgotten... your timing was perfect! It's nice to know I'm not out of sight, out of mind.

Thank you!

3 comments:

Modern Magdalene said...

The painting is beautiful!! :) Don't worry, I'm definitle a ?, as well. All life is. I've yet to discover ANYTHING totally Black or White, I know my life is lives in a thousand shades of grey. My boyfriend?, Nicky, is leaving LA for Portland, trying to find a ! moment. The girls and I are going on the first leg of his book tour when Tweak comes out in paperback; to be cut short when Sping Semester starts for my girls. Always a mommy first, Amy 2nd. I went on a week of the Hardback tour (couple of pics in my friends & family albulm on MS). Hated it, but why do I agree to do it again, WITH MY GIRLS??? The freaks or really sad parents come out. I should have better judgement? It's ALL ??? (sometimes I really wish for !!!) Anyway, you ARE super special and very loved, am I'm lucky to know you (! to that).

  said...

i'm a big fan of pandora also. I've gotten into a lot of new music and artists thanks to that site.

Ryann Rathbone said...

yup... i dig it...

but sometimes it gets stuck... and i don't know why....