Monday, July 14, 2008
This is the first nature journal page I did. It's not completely finished. It's of the Grassy Balds on Roan Mountain (the hike in the blog: Plant Porn On The Grassy Balds)
Sometimes feelings and emotions come out of nowhere... that happened last night and today. I didn't even realize I had repressed anything. I thought I had gotten everything out on the table.... then, like a kick to the gut, one hit me. And it hurt.
I probably couldn't deal with it before now... I wasn't strong enough... or something... I'm not sure how that works... All I know is today I feel like the poster-child for PTSD, and I wish my repressed memory could stay repressed, but since it's gotta come out anyways... I'll work it through.
The good thing is that I am so much stronger now. I know things aren't going to be easy, but they'll still keep going. And going forward, as long as I keep up the momentum.
I decided to be creative today. Cas and Andrew went back to Ashe-Vegas, and I stayed here at Beech. I wrote in my journal, cyber-stalked my friends and family (not really, well maybe a little), and I did collage. Not the same collage as I did before, but in Photoshop (which I think still counts).
This is a collage of my first bird drawing, that I did less than a year ago. And Carter's hand-written lyrics to Sparrows, a song that will be released on his solo CD: Jesus Is Alive And Living In London.
This collage is photos taken by the talented photographer Zach Lewis (in Dallas), of me... he makes me look purdy. I tricked it up a bit and played with the opacity of the layers. For some reason I can't post a larger image than this size... but If I could, you could see the pattern in the photos is more little pictures of me... a million little ryanns... awww.
I got a request for more pictures of my art... and I totally agree! I need to post pics even when I don't think they look as good in a photo... So, JN, I'm posting these for you and me! :)
And thanks to everyone for the comments, and encouragement. I love it. And if you have any ideas/suggestions, let me know. I want to know!