Monday, July 14, 2008

Forward Motions

This is the first nature journal page I did. It's not completely finished. It's of the Grassy Balds on Roan Mountain (the hike in the blog: Plant Porn On The Grassy Balds)

Sometimes feelings and emotions come out of nowhere... that happened last night and today. I didn't even realize I had repressed anything. I thought I had gotten everything out on the table.... then, like a kick to the gut, one hit me. And it hurt.

I probably couldn't deal with it before now... I wasn't strong enough... or something... I'm not sure how that works... All I know is today I feel like the poster-child for PTSD, and I wish my repressed memory could stay repressed, but since it's gotta come out anyways... I'll work it through.

The good thing is that I am so much stronger now. I know things aren't going to be easy, but they'll still keep going. And going forward, as long as I keep up the momentum.

I decided to be creative today. Cas and Andrew went back to Ashe-Vegas, and I stayed here at Beech. I wrote in my journal, cyber-stalked my friends and family (not really, well maybe a little), and I did collage. Not the same collage as I did before, but in Photoshop (which I think still counts).

This is a collage of my first bird drawing, that I did less than a year ago. And Carter's hand-written lyrics to Sparrows, a song that will be released on his solo CD: Jesus Is Alive And Living In London.

This collage is photos taken by the talented photographer Zach Lewis (in Dallas), of me... he makes me look purdy. I tricked it up a bit and played with the opacity of the layers. For some reason I can't post a larger image than this size... but If I could, you could see the pattern in the photos is more little pictures of me... a million little ryanns... awww.

I got a request for more pictures of my art... and I totally agree! I need to post pics even when I don't think they look as good in a photo... So, JN, I'm posting these for you and me! :)

And thanks to everyone for the comments, and encouragement. I love it. And if you have any ideas/suggestions, let me know. I want to know!


Anonymous said...

Mmmm...wondering why you can't post this pick larger. Have you ever considered uploading your shots to Flickr first? You could then copy and past the image in different sizes into your blog post. That's how I usually do it on my blog.

I really like the effects with the first one. :-)

Ryann Rathbone said...


I think it was my internet connection too... But I've realized that if you click on the pics, it opens up a new page where you see them larger.